narcissus

[Leanne]

You don't explicitly say "outside" in S1, there is "you step out into life", so why an explicit "inside"? You have "time drips somewhere in a cave" (lovely line, by the way). For me, that's contrast enough.

You also have "in here" in the first stanza, so "inside" is implied for the next part.

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And yes, synaesthesia is a damned sexy word