Need

[Philatone]

hey billy
taking a look; understanding the desire to keep the form, endryhmes and such...

Oh God! I really want to be abused;
Not beaten badly so to cause disgust. ...felt clunky in the "so to cause" bit.
A mild chastisement will be well excused;
so please remember I am not robust.
And if you think that I should be refused,...the "that" felt like filler
a better, fairer price can be discussed.

With righteous morals overly discussed
the whims of men who like to be abused,
are trampled slipshod under laws robust....i think finding a way to enjamb "robust laws", rather than inverting the order, would make it feel less stilted. the topic strikes me as being more informal; to have it stiffened does not do the piece justice i thin
Forgive me if i ask to be excused
the holy right of centre wing's disgust;
but when it's time to vote, they'll be refused.

There was a red head who I once refused
the whippage that she gave n'er be discussed....again, the "n'er" seems to lift the language in a way that didn't feel natural. i would suggest "won't", but personal preference
In truth she left me hurt and too abused
and so my visa card was not robust....the connection between this line and one above didn't feel as tight as i would have liked
She bundled up her tools of trade excused,
then turned on her stiletto with disgust.

I have been shamed and to my own disgust...the "to" i was a bit unsure of. maybe a "by"?
when gracious give and take had been refused.
The matter of it all was not discussed;
they found her in the morning un-abused.
According to the gutter press, robust,
they deemed the woman could not be excused.

The crop in hand was something I excused
And seldom did a mistress show disgust.
I never found it hard to be abused ...i did debate for a moment that if these things happen so naturally, why would one open with how much they want to be abused. but, it is possible to want the things you have access to. it lends a kind of addiction to the speaker
a fact so widely known and not discussed.
of course when offered marriage I refused....maybe a comma after "marriage"?
the hearts of them were much less than robust..."them" who?

As high court judge I have to be robust...again a comma after "judge"
And crimes of violence never be excused;
to punish masochism with disgust
is wrong and it should always be refused.
A persons right to tit for tat discussed;
should Sexuality be so abused?
...i think this was my favorite stanza so far; nicely put

In leather basque robust and price discussed
you'll always be excused though not refused,
so slap without disgust, I'm the abused.

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First edit was done quickly thanks to the eagle eye of Leannes meter-gnome, I used the obvious suggestions and tried to use an idea or two of my own as well. big thanks leanne will give it another go over in the future if anyone else gives me something to work on (you won't believe this but i originally had chastisement in a took the thing out for screwing up the meter

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original

Oh God! I really want to be abused;
Not beaten badly or, to cause disgust.
A mild punishment will be well excused;
so please remember I am not robust.
And if you think that I should be refused,
a better, fairer price can be discussed.

With righteous morals overly discussed
the rights of men who like to be abused,
are trampled under pensive laws robust.
Forgive me if i ask to be excused
the holy right of centre wing's disgust;
but when it's time to vote, they'll be refused.

There was a red head that I once refused
and whippage that she gave n'er be discussed.
In truth she left me hurt and too abused
and so my visa card was not robust.
She bundled up her tools of trade excused,
then turned on her stiletto with disgust.

I have been shamed and to my own disgust
when glorious tit for tat had been refused.
The matter of it all was not discussed;
they found her in the morning un-abused.
According to the gutter press robust
they deemed the woman could not be excused.

The whip in hand was something I excused
And seldom did a mistress show disgust.
It was never hard being the abused
a fact so simply known and not discussed.
of course when offered marriage I refused
the hearts of them were much less than robust.

As high court judge I have to be robust
And crimes of violence never be excused;
but to punish masochism with disgust
isn't right and should always be refused.
A persons right to tit for tat discussed;
should Sexuality be so abused?

In leather basque robust and price discussed
you'll always be excused though not refused,
so slap without disgust, I'm the abused.

a difficult form that i think you battled through and survived, billy!