08-02-2012, 12:48 AM
Thanks again and I forgot to thank tectak for family-size packet of Durex.
Leanne - "overrides" has double entendre value too.
"despite those tiny moments of regret" - it's the same length, more or less, as the other 5th lines. Mind, twinges or spasms might be better than moments.
Billy - if I can get my head round the technology I'll do it. But you'll be disappointed. I can write good performance poetry but my actual performance is not so good.I've a faded Brummie accent, which unaccountably comes to life again on stage. My style is described as laconic to my face, but who knows what they say when I've left!I've supported the likes of John Cooper-Clarke and Attila the Stockbroker but even a stopped clock is right twice a day.Still, I enjoy it.
Phaedra -You're right about this line "One day you’re shopping at the chemist". Thanks, I'll lose One day.
tell everyone we know of it by text. Is "of it" needed? - I think it is, for the rhythm.
Leanne - "overrides" has double entendre value too.
"despite those tiny moments of regret" - it's the same length, more or less, as the other 5th lines. Mind, twinges or spasms might be better than moments.
Billy - if I can get my head round the technology I'll do it. But you'll be disappointed. I can write good performance poetry but my actual performance is not so good.I've a faded Brummie accent, which unaccountably comes to life again on stage. My style is described as laconic to my face, but who knows what they say when I've left!I've supported the likes of John Cooper-Clarke and Attila the Stockbroker but even a stopped clock is right twice a day.Still, I enjoy it.
Phaedra -You're right about this line "One day you’re shopping at the chemist". Thanks, I'll lose One day.
tell everyone we know of it by text. Is "of it" needed? - I think it is, for the rhythm.
Before criticising a person, try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise them, you're a mile away.....and you have their shoes.