your hands (version 2ish)

[Ruth]

I think you need to give it some distance before editing any more... find that confidence you need, because right now what you've got is a poem that explains the poem it was trying to be in the first place.

how I'd write the first bit:

because I did not lift my face,
I watched your hands, your arms,
your elbows resting lightly on your thighs,
and I watched the floor,
but mostly

I watched your hands.

I saw the line that suggests a creative lover,
the one that shows a clever mind, imagination, and
the mound by your thumb that may indicate passion. -- this stanza sounds as if it's straight out of a "how to read palms" manual. It could probably fit into the next one easily enough, something like:

I saw meanings in their shapes: creative lover,
clever mind, passion, imagination.
I watched our shadows flicker and entwine.

you stood, you smiled and then your arms embraced me, -- "arms" is redundant
and held on until I let go of you.

then I was on my way, casting my own shadows,
regarding my own hands.

Having told you not to edit just now, maybe that will help you when you come to do it... for what it's worth, I liked the first one better

actually, I DO read palms, and do it on the sly with some people when I'm trying to get a better feel for them (Peter's hands explained a LOT about him, but that's another story for another day)

will let this sit - and will come back to it - with more of my own voice I hope ;-)

thanks Leanne