your hands (version 2ish)

[addy]

Quite a thorough edit Ruth . Speaking from my personal point of view (I'm sure everyone else would have different opinions and may flat-out disagree), I think there are elements from your first draft that I kind of miss now that they've been removed here (I rather miss the fingertips, her trembling, her writing, the more sensitive observations). It's good, but for me it's a mixed success in that sense

because I did not lift my face,
I watched your hands, arms, your elbows, bent and don't think "bent' is necessary, its a givenresting lightly on your thighs,
and I watched the floor, I'm hovering a bit with this line... either add more of a descriptor here (because without "feet" to balance it, it seems a random fit to the other images), or remove this line completely. Just my take.
but mostly I watched your hands.

I saw the line that suggests a creative lover,
the one that shows a clever mind, imagination, and Pull "and" down to the next line, I think
the mound by your thumb that may indicate passion.

as we spoke, I saw meanings in their shapes, and
on the floor, I watched our shadows, made from street and candle light in a darkened room This line may not be needed? Not sure, maybe you can make the whole image more concise-- "...our shadows in the lamplight // flicker and entwine"--- something to that effect
flicker and entwine.

you stood, you smiled and then your arms embraced me,
and held on until I let go of you. I think you can do without this stanza? It seems a bit perfunctory at the moment

then I was on my way, casting my own shadows,
regarding my own hands. "Casting my own shadows // regarding my own hands"... is a pretty good close, but I can't help but feel it would actually be more interesting if you kept the writing bit, so she'd be observing the shadow and dancing motion of her own hands as she wrote and recalled. Again, just my take