How Does Everybody Stop Having Sex?

[billy]

Most couples come together
for the sensual pleasure
and indulge themselves whenever
they have time and leisure –
others do it just to fertilise eggs.
Once you’ve got into the habit
you can go at it like rabbits
or experiment and wear the fancy dress.
But how does everybody stop having sex?

Can we stick on patches
to extinguish love matches?
Will there still be flashes
and ephemeral snatches?
Must we undergo hypnosis to forget?
Shall we use willpower
or take a cold shower,
chew a substitute known as Knickerette?
We could go for counselling to stop having sex.

One day you’re shopping at the chemist
for some Hedex and Rennies,
that cream made of cherries
to hide a facial blemish
and a bumper-size packet of Durex.
But they haven’t got our flavour,
you think, shall I come back later
or shall we put the whole damn thing to rest?
You wonder how does everybody stop having sex?

The Japanese will stop it
when company logic
decrees that a profit
overrides the erotic –
in China it is at the state’s behest.
In Madrid and Tijuana
the menfolk say manana
when the wives begin to shake their castanets.
Don’t lie back and think of England, let’s stop having sex.








We could celebrate in style
or wear the brave face of denial.
We should have a public trial
and appear on Jeremy Kyle –
the children would be terribly impressed!
We could shout it to the neighbours
and then tout it to the papers,
tell everyone we know of it by text.
We could start a group on Facebook How To Stop Having Sex!

Will our final days be charted?
Shall we set ourselves a target
on a calendar and mark it?
We can vow not to restart it
despite those tiny moments of regret.
Will we yield unto temptation
or resort to masturbation
and eventually retire to separate beds?
What if we can’t remember to stop having sex?

Do you think our sexual histories
will falter in the Fifties?
Will you wanna do it with me
when we swing into the Sixties?
Shall enthusiasm wane or remain erect,
through the Seventies and after?
With the coming of Viagra
we could shag until we both ran out of breath!
That would be the best way to stop having sex!

i liked it because it me made me crack a smile. some good word play and some good sonics but in places the meter makes me falter; mainly the last line in each verse. theres also a couple more. (the jeremy kyle line being one of them) i tried reading it out loud and still had a similar problem. the ending was perfect content wise .

thanks for the read. and the laugh..