07-25-2012, 11:17 AM
hey jack
it opens rather directly, which may be appropriate, but even starting with "you've been given a heart and a brain" gives me a bit more to imagine. i think the bluntness fits the approach.
the idea of a "mortal soul" is great.
it opens rather directly, which may be appropriate, but even starting with "you've been given a heart and a brain" gives me a bit more to imagine. i think the bluntness fits the approach.
the idea of a "mortal soul" is great.
Written only for you to consider.