07-24-2012, 03:27 AM
It's pretty good, I like the 1st and 3rd verses very much. The 2nd verse is weakest, I think
.dog-barked in to the brightening day - doesn't sound right somehow.
Not keen on full and fulfilled. Why do you capitalise Glint?
.dog-barked in to the brightening day - doesn't sound right somehow.
Not keen on full and fulfilled. Why do you capitalise Glint?
Before criticising a person, try walking a mile in their shoes. Then when you do criticise them, you're a mile away.....and you have their shoes.