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His jade tooth scratched across the window pane,
comet down the drain where followed Blitzen?
If you’ve the ear try to listen to an off key song,
it’s not long, like a row through the fallow
birthing only unrealized dreams, it seems.
Have a long drink anyway, when your hot
at the end of the day before you pass away.
Jesus said it once, but wasn’t the first,
parable conjured unrehearsed, the second
Richard, same as the first met Matt in
Dodge City along with saintly Miss Kitty.
Was she the Magdalene of that scene
and did it matter that she hadn’t been if
it all comes together in the end, again.
A heavy weight, but that’s where they hang you
by a thread, truncated so it might get read.
©2012 –Erthona
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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i like the internal rhymes dale, but other than that i'm struggling.
i see the religious side (i think) but can't place it. i think it's about Christmas because of the reindeer but feel sure i'm well off the mark. bugger me...i think i may have a handle on it. nope scratch that, i thought i saw the dead sea scrolls or the book of thomas in it  .
i wish i could be more helpful than simply saying i can't get a handle on it.
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Thanks Billy. Here are some clues/translation, although that doesn't mean it makes any sense, even though this is some very serious nonsense
Window pane = LSD
Blitzen = to get blitzed, smashed, wasted.
Really has nothing to do with Christmas or reindeer, nor is it particularly about religion (although that is an obvious interpretation) anymore than what it is mocking is.
The dead sea scrolls are a nice touch, but you forgot the book of Mary
However, in this poems case, Ray criticism works well, at least the idea that all viewpoints are valid and of equal worth
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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.
"However, in this poems case, Ray criticism works well, at least the idea that all viewpoints are valid and of equal worth"
Not true. I cite as examples, several of your past viewpoints. 
P.S. One thing you can't do with window: http://tinyurl.com/blotter-art-images
P.P.S. Absolutists take any mention of gray as an attempt to obviate white.
(And no, 'black' ain't no colour.)
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
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Not true. I cite as examples, several of your past viewpoints. (What? No typewriter font?)
"A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest"
Dale
ps I'd go with LSDBarbie myself!
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Posts: 444
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Joined: Nov 2011
.
"Richard, same as the first met Matt in
Dodge City along with saintly Miss Kitty.
Was she the Magdalene of that scene"
to wit:
"If you ever go to Austin
Fort Worth or San Antone
Find the bar rooms I got lost in
And send my memories home"
---
"ps I'd go with LSDBarbie myself!"
Good choice, I'll take the Mr. Natural or the Pekar.
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
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the lsd etc makes a difference and gave me a laugh (not sure it was supposed to)
though i'm still struggling with it, but i have a thought about that, maybe it's because it trippy.
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hello dale
stumbled across the explanation of drug references, so that does tweak how I read this . not sure if they would have been clear to me otherwise. having said that
(04-13-2012, 03:37 AM)Erthona Wrote: His jade tooth scratched across the window pane,...trying to find why the "his" is significant
comet down the drain where followed Blitzen? ...is this line missing a comma or period?
If you’ve the ear try to listen to an off key song,...might add a comma after "ear"
it’s not long, like a row through the fallow...interesting, great line "like a row...birthing"
birthing only unrealized dreams, it seems.
Have a long drink anyway, when your hot... "you're"
at the end of the day before you pass away....i'm seeing a Last Supper
Jesus said it once, but wasn’t the first,
parable conjured unrehearsed, the second
Richard, same as the first met Matt in
Dodge City along with saintly Miss Kitty.
Was she the Magdalene of that scene
and did it matter that she hadn’t been if
it all comes together in the end, again.
A heavy weight, but that’s where they hang you
by a thread, truncated so it might get read. ...strikes me as metapoetic
©2012 –Erthona
have to admit to getting lost, especially in the second half. at the beginning, I'm seeing the speaker trying to tempt someone else (the reader?). fitting for a number of the names mentioned inside
like the sounds and rhymes. i'm sorry i can't be more helpful at the moment
Written only for you to consider.
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(04-13-2012, 03:37 AM)Erthona Wrote: His jade tooth scratched across the window pane,
comet down the drain where followed Blitzen?
If you’ve the ear try to listen to an off key song,
it’s not long, like a row through the fallow
birthing only unrealized dreams, it seems.
Have a long drink anyway, when your hot
at the end of the day before you pass away.
Jesus said it once, but wasn’t the first,
parable conjured unrehearsed, the second
Richard, same as the first met Matt in
Dodge City along with saintly Miss Kitty.
Was she the Magdalene of that scene
and did it matter that she hadn’t been if
it all comes together in the end, again.
A heavy weight, but that’s where they hang you
by a thread, truncated so it might get read.
©2012 –Erthona
Hi Dale,
Cowardly, I know, but I just left this until some others had tripped up and fallen into your somtimes fathomless intellectual pothole. As it turns out, there are so many in there I can walk on their heads and not sink.
OK. What the hell is this about?
I redefine obscurity quite often but here I am with the antidote to "Blinded by the Light" lyrics....loving it but not having the slightest idea what drug you took.
It would be churlish to correct grammar without "getting" the measure of the piece so bear with me.
This "jade tooth" is not as esoteric as all that as I can distinctly remember a whole pile of them in a souk in Layounne. Pricey animal teeth. Jade. With holes in to thread them by. It is not easily drilled. It is not as hard as diamond. It does not scratch easily. It would scratch glass. So a fact, then? As an opener it grabbed me....then down the pan I went with the comet. So I read the whole thing again. I liked it less and understood it less. So I read it again and tried not to understand it. Bingo! You were drunk.
Best,
tectak
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