Raising Kids
#1
Parenthood is heroin
in a dirty needle.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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#2
Oh ye gods... that's it exactly!

The incredible highs that make you forget all else, and the horrible crashing lows where you feel you've lost yourself completely. That's painful, Todd.
It could be worse
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#3
wtf am i supposed to critique Hysterical

i do love it though.
there is no hope once it commences.
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#4
Very much to the point, Todd Smile. The succinctness gives it that much more power.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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#5
Eloquent, in its brevity.
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#6
Leanne, Billy, addy, and AA:

Thank you all for your comments. I realize it's not as long as my normal pieces (so Billy to your wtf, does the font work for you? Wink )
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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#7
Todd,
Why must you illicit naught but praise? Wink

Filthy gorgeous, darling!

PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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#8
Thanks Aish. It's good to see you back. Wink

The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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#9
it all works for me Wink

though i wondered about the typeface for a brief moment. Big Grin
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#10
(09-12-2011, 12:37 PM)Todd Wrote:  Thanks Aish. It's good to see you back. Wink

Thank you, Todd. It's nice to be back (I think).
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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#11
I really like this. At first it seemed strange that a poem this short should be published in the serious critique section, but who says brevity doesn't deserve thoughtful consideration? It is after all the soul of witWink The addictiveness of heroin coupled with the disease and degradation a dirty needle risks spreading makes for a complex picture worth mulling over. Thanks for the read Todd, this was great.
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe
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#12
Thanks Jack. I appreciate the kind words. I know what you mean though. When I first started writing this it became something much longer but I wasn't happy with most of it, and I thought you know I think the poem is just this one observation. I decided to post it here to see if it could stand on its own. I was reminded of one of my favorite poems by A.R. Ammons:

Their Sex Life by A. R. Ammons

One failure on
Top of another

There's always something that makes me want to keep cutting away at a poem till I get something that has a condensed power to it. I seem to write a lot and then pare it down as small as I can make it. I sometimes wonder if I should put up the larger things here.

Well, enough ramble from me. Thanks again.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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#13
Well, I've never done drugs in my life besides the legal kind my doctors sign me up for and they cost just as much probably... And are just as addicting and self deprecating mind you Wink but if raising kids is like doing heroin then I'm a crack whore died and gone to heaven, over and over and over... Cause as much as I love my boys they just kill me sometimes!

Todd, I came here to pay my critique penance this morning and you shot that goal to hell. LOL. Kicked my ass to the back of the line! BUT, I loved this!
Do you realise that memories are like a bag of wooden nickels... Or a field full of men on wooden legs in a flash flood... useless ~ D.A.
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#14
Thanks Jen,

It's nice to know that other's parenting experiences are like mine Wink

I appreciate the comments.

Best,

Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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#15
Well, it was the least I could do... I loved it!
Do you realise that memories are like a bag of wooden nickels... Or a field full of men on wooden legs in a flash flood... useless ~ D.A.
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