Mercurial Distractions

[Aish]

Voiceless
delicate skin
pliantly erupts and
nimbly shimmersurfs; crescendo
shyness.

[Leanne]

I wonder if you'd think about a colon in L4 -- nimbly shimmersurfs: crescendo

The cinquain is one of my least favourite forms, though that's most likely a very unreasonable prejudice of mine -- I like what you do with them though Love "shimmersurfs", and the bookends of "voiceless" and "shyness" are very effective.

[Aish]

Semicolon inserted.

We all have our little prejudices. I generally stay away from structure, but have been experimenting with cinquain as a way to knock out my writers block. Thank you for your observations

[billy]

sorry for missing this Aish.
all thr elements are there
and it works well.
i think the 4th line is great.
never herd of shimmersurf, if it's a contrived word by you, kudos.

[Aish]

Thanks, Billy.

Yes, I play fast and loose with my poetic license at times It's an Amberism