An dà shealladh
#1
One-eyed winter, bent-backed hag, she
slopes across the shadowed corries,
harvesting the weak and wasted,
rinsing Alba with her wake.

I have seen her, outside in and
boiling through the mists of Mary’s
mildness, driving ice before her,
genesis beneath her feet.

Throw your words of he-said, he-said,
jealous black and whitely righteous,
onto fires of harvest’s ending,
Cailleach cannot see a cross.

Call the mists to veil the vistas
ancient under concrete scarring;
none may yoke her, land or lady:
she is threefold, she is one.



It could be worse
Reply
#2
will get back to this later.

Reply
#3
no worries
It could be worse
Reply
#4
i couldn't wait.

(07-22-2011, 03:03 PM)Leanne Wrote:  One-eyed winter, bent-backed hag, she
slopes across the shadowed corries,
harvesting the weak and wasted,
rinsing Alba with her wake.

I have seen her, outside in and
boiling through the mists of Mary’s
mildness, driving ice before her,
genesis beneath her feet.

Throw your words of he-said, he-said,
jealous black and whitely righteous,
onto fires of harvest’s ending,
Cailleach cannot see a cross.

Call the mists to veil the vistas
ancient under concrete scarring;
none may yoke her, land or lady:
she is threefold, she is one.
lots of Scottish references. i presume you wrote 'cailleach' and not 'the cailleach' to keep the meter.
i love the last line of the 1st verse
was lost with 'the one eyed winter' and all i can think of is the witches from macbeth, something i'm certain of considering it is rife with Gaelic lore. i'm not to well up on macbeth but this screams it. (it's okay if i'm wrong Sad ) i think the imagery is great
the 2nd verse is my fave, it paints a personal picture.

if i had one small nit it would be the enjambment. mainly the 1st line. it is obvious it was done that way for meter and because of that it does work. it niggles a little as it does Big Grin

it has that mystical allusion that a good poem about this subject needs.
i really enjoyed it, and more so i enjoyed deciphering it. jmo

ps loved the use of corries Smile

thanks for a great read.

Reply
#5
Leanne

I work harder on your poems than I do my own.
Google is a wonderful tool.

An dà shealladh....couldn't find this. I'm lost already.

I read billys response, couldn't find the correlation to Macbeth.

Cailleach....old hag...Doll made during harvest, passed from farmer
to farmer until the harvest is done.


I think this is a religious poem.
I have trouble with Alba unless it refers to a doll.

I think you are referring to Mary Magdalene, Mother Mary, Mary as a
disciple.

I hate it that you're smarter than me.

The first two stanza's are good.
The last two are excellent. Even if I have it wrong.





Found the meaning of the title with some research.

I have to remember that you're Scottish.

Now I think you're talking about Scotland or Ireland and the
different people who have inhabited them and their religious
views.

Still can't place the one-eyed winter.

I think the concrete scarring is streets or parking lots.
Three folds into one would refer to the people again
She(Scotland or Ireland) is one, despite the convergence of
different religious backgrounds.

mysts of Mary
Genesis beneath her feet
Cailleach cannot see a cross.

This must refer to christian beliefs trying to take hold.

I hope I got at least one of these right.

Cheers
David





Reply
#6
Thank you, gentlemen. The Cailleach is most often represented as a one-eyed, blue-faced giantess -- she is not cruel, but she doesn't accept weakness in her people or her land as she cleanses and culls with the winter. I expect Shakespeare had a bit of her as the threefold spinner of fate in mind when he wrote the witches, but they're tainted by that Christian viewpoint of crones as evil or contemptible. In Celtic lore, she is both creator and destroyer -- and her other aspect, during the summer months, is the Bride. Not surprisingly, the Christians decided that they could appropriate this beautiful young goddess, who fit in with their ideas of womanhood, and turn her into a placid saint. The old woman they ignored, silly buggers.

David, you're right about the concrete. You can put whatever veneer you like across a living surface, but in time it will crack and fall away.

An dà shealladh roughly translates as "the two sights", the ability to see through the veil to the world of spirits and gods. And Alba means Scotland Smile

Billy, duly noted on the enjambment but as you've surmised, it's purely deliberate and I'd rather the meter stayed intact.

Many thanks to you both.
It could be worse
Reply
#7
Couldn't you write haphazardly mortal poem?

Smile
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
Reply
#8
(07-24-2011, 05:46 AM)Aish Wrote:  Couldn't you write haphazardly mortal poem?

Smile
Sure, I have loads about vomit and poo if you'd like Big Grin
It could be worse
Reply
#9
(07-24-2011, 10:53 AM)Leanne Wrote:  
(07-24-2011, 05:46 AM)Aish Wrote:  Couldn't you write haphazardly mortal poem?

Smile

Sure, I have loads about vomit and poo if you'd like Big Grin

Only if you want mine on snot and pulled teeth Big Grin

The triune maiden/mother/crone is one of my favorite themes. I'm rather partial to The Morrigan.

PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
Reply
#10
I've been called an old crow a time or two myself Wink
It could be worse
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!