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Propelled
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07-08-2011, 01:17 PM
Tiny anecdotes
float, bloat, birth slick flotsam. Astral placenta.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
07-08-2011, 02:25 PM
stay off the drugs
 jki like its astral connection. and the idea where small thoughts come from.
07-08-2011, 02:31 PM
No kush today,
 Thanks, Billy!
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
07-09-2011, 06:42 AM
There's nothing too small to build a poem from. I love your metaphor here, though every time I read the second line I want to leave out the "in" -- it only changes the meaning slightly but it emphasises the sonics a little more. Of course, that's possibly just in my head
It could be worse
07-09-2011, 08:07 AM
Thank you both!
If I leave out 'in', I won't have enough syllables. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
07-09-2011, 08:28 AM
(07-09-2011, 08:07 AM)Aish Wrote: Thank you both!hi aish, the 5,7,5, form is just a western idea and not adhering to it is allowed. one of the best references i've read concerning the form is; as long as it can be read in a normal breath it's okay. basho and others, when there haiku are translated often use less or more.
07-09-2011, 01:41 PM
Well, HUZZAH, then!!!! 'In' begone!
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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