The Pint of Poetry with Nuts Sonnet

[Leanne]

The bottom of the glass is drawing near
as clouds roll in; the stars will drink tonight,
but not at Flanagan’s on Fleet, where beer
is green and grass is rolled and set alight.
What dreams may come, beneath this mouldy sky?
What visions splendid spread in smoke and brew?
The fire Blake saw in tiger’s burning eye
has somehow caught alight upon my shoe.
As amber bubbles float in sweet release
to flame the blood, a miracle takes place:
that bloke looks taller somehow, less obese...
I wonder how he’d feel upon my face?
The poetry of lager sings off-key
for fat drunk karaoke bloke and me.

[billy]

i love it. (is there a trochee on L 7? ) (just practising me scansion shit )

they say that people look sexier through the bottom of a beer glass hehe.

[Leanne]

Depends on how you say fire -- that's a bitch of a word to scan, since it can be either one longish or two shortish syllables.

Poetic licence is a wonderful thing... makes me wish I drank beer sometimes...

[billy]

yes but if it had 2 short syls it would be a spondulick or somethin hehe and the syl count would be shot to shit.

not picking btw
i thought the poem was funny as hell though the last 6 lines were the funniest.

[Leanne]

Setup and summary, that's how sonnets go. See, I can't help lecturing even now, I have a disease or something

[billy]

i'm going for a bath then

[critical mass]

Very nice sonnet. Very funny.

I'm with billy on line 7 tho.

The fire Blake saw in tiger’s burning eye
The fire saw in tigers burning eye..............correct number of counts.

May also be the stresses come in the wrong placees.

This formal stuff scratches me where it's hard to itch.

Enjoyed

David

[billy]

i wasn't being serious.

don't forget this is the "for fun forum"

and i doubt he would mind being in a trochee of a sonnet about booze and weed. he enjoyed squiggly meter after all