Sex and Slashings

[heslopian]

In the golden age of slasher films,
when the characters were required to run
and not just be tortured submissively,
when the woods were filled with demented mothers
brandishing machetes, and drowned boys
rising from the dead, sex was the ultimate crime.

The supernormal tormentors, who could disappear
bewteen sequels like diseases
in periods of remission, anticipate
a woman's exact whereabouts, and utilise
whatever strength the plot demanded,
served as moral enforcers, punishing only
the bad boys and girls.

The final girl must have her hymen intact
if she wanted to make the sequel,
where she would either be killed like poor Alice
at the beginning of Friday the 13th Part 2
(surviving a massacre must have made her horny
in between shooting) or be doomed
to have men terrorise her while she pushes
her boobs together for the rest of her life.

I sometimes think about the audiences,
invariably teenagers, who saw these films
when they were released, against the backdrop
of Dynasty and shoulder pads. In the dark cinemas
when the boys held close their frightened dates,
I wonder if, unconsciously, those terrified girls
crossed their legs, and decided not to let Billy
use his condom tonight after all.

[billy]

billy never used a condom but that's an aside we won't go into.

60 word sentences is almost a record i think

the poem;
i enjoyed it's insights. i do have a nit however. some of the smaller words;
are they necessary?

I.E.;
In the golden age of slasher films,
when characters were required to run
and not just be tortured submissively,
when woods were filled with demented mothers
brandishing machetes, and drowned boys
rising from the dead, sex was the ultimate crime.

just a couple of words in this verse.
and a couple in the last

back to the poem,
i got a laugh out of it. it brings back memories of jamie lee curtis.
i saw most of those kind of films on dvd, but your points stick out as valid even to me (a non aficionado of horror)
thanks for the read

[heslopian]

Thanks for the kind words and feedback Billy, and thank you for not expanding on your opening aside I guess "be" could be removed from the example you give, but besides that taking out any others would comprimise the syntax I think. Those smaller words are what glue the sentences together.

[billy]

hehe, the example i gave already has two words removed, two you didn't notice
i never saw the be lol, i must have thought it was okay

[heslopian]

Oh yes! Two of the "the"s. Huh. I didn't notice that

[billy]

that's what people mean by unnecessary words, they're not missed if removed.
and if they're not missed the odds are they're not needed.

now don't be removing words on my stuff just to prove a point

[addy]

Understated, but still clever and punchy. And your observation of the golden age of slasher pics is spot-on... what makes it worse for me is that, despite that era's fucked-up views on sexuality, I still prefer them to the straight-up torture porn we see nowadays. Sad, i know LOL

[heslopian]

Torture porn for me is below the lowest common demoninator. It's an insult to the lowest common demoninator. It makes the lowest common demoninator look like Ingmar Bergman's Cries and Whispers. Even the old splatter movies like Blood Feast had a certain camp joy to the proceedings. But stuff like Hostel Parts 1 and 2 and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake are just plotless, artless excuses for scene after scene after depressing bloody scene of teenagers being ripped apart. They're not scary because the stories have no connection to reality and use only the most basic formula elements to propel them from the opening shot to the gore. And they're not entertaining (unless you're a psychopath or someone who's never seen a movie before) for much the same reasons. Here's an interesting discussion of slasher films from the eighties between famed Chicago film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert. The quality's shit but you should be able to see and hear it okay:
[youtube]_r556L3Codc[/youtube]
Anyway, sorry for the rant Addy Thanks for the kind words and feedback.