Someone Who Will Truly Care

[Crystalheart]

I want someone to hold me
To tell me everything is gonna be alright
To kiss me through the day
To hug me through the night

I need someone to be there
When I can’t hold on
To be my strength
When I can’t be strong

I want someone to be able to see through
All the hiding and lies
I want someone to see the hidden truth
Deep within my eyes

I need someone to hold me
To tell me everything is gonna be okay
I need someone to tell me
I can make it through another day

I want someone carry me
When I can’t carry myself
Someone to understand the bottle of emotions
Hidden on the shelf

Overall I need someone
Who I know is gonna be there
Someone who I know in the end
Is truly gonna care

©Grace Miano

[heslopian]

This reads more like a song than a poem, but is none the worse for that. It's a charming little piece. My favourite line:

"Someone to understand the bottle of emotions
Hidden on the shelf"

Very evocative. Good piece, Crystalheart.

P.S: You need a "to" after "someone" in the first line of the penultimate verse.

[billy]

hi grace or Ch,
the meter feels a little shaky it could do with having some kind of pattern.
the poem does have a lyrical quality to it which helps dispel the differences in meter a little.
if feels as though it's saying huge amounts but really it's just saying
"i need someone to love"

while i enjoyed it, i think it needs some solid images like the one below, which is a great one.

Someone to understand the bottle of emotions
Hidden on the shelf

how do you want to be kissed, hugged, etc. give some strong images, it what emotional poetry craves for.
all that said it could pass as a song as is with a small chorus.

thanks for the read, hope to see more

[addy]

I want someone to hold me
To tell me everything is gonna be alright Not the strongest opening... the sentiment is great, but the lines are a bit cliche
To kiss me through the day
To hug me through the night This is much better

I need someone to be there
When I can’t hold on
To be my strength
When I can’t be strong

I want someone to be able to see through
All the hiding and lies
I want someone to see the hidden truth
Deep within my eyes Maybe you can just say "... see the truth, hidden in my eyes". But personally, since you already used the word "hiding" a few lines before, maybe an adjective of that instead

I need someone to hold me
To tell me everything is gonna be okay This is a repetition of the poem's opening lines... was this intentional? If so, imo you should put it in a more prominent place in the poem, such as the beginning of the ending stanza, because its placement here is rather nondescript and random
I need someone to tell me
I can make it through another day

I want someone carry me
When I can’t carry myself
Someone to understand the bottle of emotions
Hidden on the shelf Lovely, intriguing image

Overall "Overall" makes it sound too blase, imo I need someone
Who I know is gonna be there
Someone who I know in the end
Is truly gonna care

©Grace Miano

I definitely appreciated the lyrical quality in this... the meter which you were going for is a little spotty at points (changes from short to long at times) but nothing a little brush up wouldn't improve. I think you should also try being a bit more adventurous with your imagery, as a lot of the lines tend to be literal (for instance, even the title is a literal explanation of the contents of the poem, which dampens the mystique a little). Nevertheless, this has good promise