Skyline
#1
I look as city lights
spike into endless sky
and think;

that’s what we must look like
on the inside.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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#2
hey,good one Addy
  • the partially blind semi bald eagle
Bastard Elect
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#3
thanks Smile
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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#4
very deep
Wink thanks for the read
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#5
This is beautiful. Reminds me of the American poet Richard Brautigan, who wrote very short pieces which said a great deal. Once again, just gorgeous. So succinct and powerful.
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#6
yes, this is very powerful. Thanks for posting it!
Bianca Blush
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#7
wow, thanks a lot guys! Blush
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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#8
Cool thought!
Probably "yes" we are!
5 stars + rep. point.
R.Y.
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#9
(02-08-2011, 04:28 PM)Ris Yerg Wrote:  Cool thought!
Probably "yes" we are!
5 stars + rep. point.
R.Y.
Thanks very much Blush
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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#10
Brilliant imagery Smile My only concern is a grammatical one, in L1 & L2: it reads "I look at city lights spike into endless sky", which ends up very odd as a sentence, and you don't have any oddness anywhere else. So my suggestion is either "I look as city lights spike..." or "I look at city lights spiking..." -- or even (so you can now ignore the either, I suppose), "I look at city lights as they spike..."

Love the last two lines.
It could be worse
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#11
Thanks Leanne Smile. Done and done.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
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#12
Good one indeed addy Smile
Great imagery and probably very true.
You give to the world when you're giving your best to somebody else.
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