Bubble Bush

[robdaley]

She kneels, hidden in the long grass
with the landmines.
Picking a leaf stalk, she teases it open --
a sheen of sap swells.
With brimming brown eyes, she blows
a bubble, big as a bomb.
As forces push out, it floats
through brittle air.

[milo]

She kneels in the long grass, hidden
with the landmines.
Picking a leaf stalk, she teases it open --
a sheen of sap swells.
With brimming brown eyes, she blows
a bubble, big as a bomb.
As forces push out, it floats
through brittle air.

So the grass is hidden ? How do you hide grass?

[robdaley]

She kneels in the long grass, hidden
with the landmines.
Picking a leaf stalk, she teases it open --
a sheen of sap swells.
With brimming brown eyes, she blows
a bubble, big as a bomb.
As forces push out, it floats
through brittle air.

So the grass is hidden ? How do you hide grass?

Hi Milo, lol I have amended.

[milo]

She kneels in the long grass, hidden
with the landmines.
Picking a leaf stalk, she teases it open --
a sheen of sap swells.
With brimming brown eyes, she blows
a bubble, big as a bomb.
As forces push out, it floats
through brittle air.

So the grass is hidden ? How do you hide grass?

Hi Milo, lol I have amended.

Ok - I will give it a deeper read and offer more feedback later

[matsunosuperfan]

She kneels in the long grass, hidden
with the landmines.
Picking a leaf stalk, she teases it open --
a sheen of sap swells.
With brimming brown eyes, she blows
a bubble, big as a bomb.
As forces push out, it floats
through brittle air.

I think this has some motivating elements of sound and image: there's a loose metric consistency to the couplets, and this sense of nature as a kind of battleground. Right now I'm having trouble getting a sense of coherence/elevation from the whole, though. 

I don't know who "she" is, which seems important, crucial even. That seems a big shortcoming, that the poem leaves it to the reader to "figure out" who its only animate subject is. 

"As force pushes out" is notably awkward phrasing amidst otherwise smooth syntax

"it floats / through brittle air" feels vague, twee, and unsatisfying to me. I think it's a weak ending, just kind of a placeholder for something that actually takes advantage of the preceding material to make a more inspired, creative gesture. 

 It's not really clear WHY the war imagery - landmines, bomb - is there. So I would suggest making the poem longer, as it feels like there are some ideas here that haven't been given space to realize themselves.