Afraid of the night

[busker]

Afraid of the night 

Childhood is afraid
of the night, the thin hands
of malevolent ghosts. Youth is unafraid
of the night, with its host 
of silver sheep in the land
of the moon.
Mid life is afraid 
not of night, but the soon
coming dawn, upending 
respite, its dreams of the past 
where it hides from the future, not a friend.
Old age is afraid of the night
once again, of the one 
with no light,
with no end.

[opal.zzz]

Very clear concept. The way our priorities and fears change as we age, and though they may look the same (they're mostly afraid of the "night"), we fear the same things for different reasons.

The childhood line seems to reference the fictional things that children often claim to be afraid of: ghosts, ghouls, supernatural creatures. But ultimately the fear is of that which they don't know and can't protect themselves from, which can be applied to more realistic childhood fears too. Children have minimal knowledge and minimal control.

The line about youth is one I struggled to interpret. I'm not sure what the host of silver sheep in the land of the moon is. If the ambiguity is intentional, I'd recommend sharpening the imagery in a more unique way. If it means something specific and the reference/metaphor went over my head, forgive me.

Mid life is interesting - what is the soon coming dawn? Old age? It sounds like mid-life is afraid of the dawn waking them up from their dreams of the past, but I think it could be worded better. My initial read was that the dawn itself was dreaming of the past while hiding from the future, which confused me at first because the dawn is described as soon-coming (so does this dawn represent the past or the future?). I think this could be fixed with a couple punctuation/word-choice edits. I like the idea of mid-life having a fear of the past rather than a fear of the future, distinctly different than the other three stages described. Maybe it's shame, regret, aching nostalgia, or grief. I'd like to see it a bit more specific, though.

The old age section is clear. The elderly, like children, are once again afraid of the "night." They once again lack knowledge and control, not knowing what will come of them but knowing they cannot prevent it. I like this ending - they're afraid of the dark too, but for a reason much more real than boogiemen and ghosts.

[matsunosuperfan]

Afraid of the night 

Childhood is afraid
of the night, the thin hands
of malevolent ghosts. Youth is unafraid
of the night, with its host 
of silver sheep in the land
of the moon.   the anaphoric "of" is a fantastic little provocation, well realized by the run of figuration. very compelling. 
Mid life is afraid    great turn, I'm with you
not of night, but the soon    ah! oh! 
coming dawn, upending 
respite, its dreams of the past    hmm... a little indulgent around here, perhaps - but the occasion does seem worthy of a grandiose gesture or two
where it hides from the future, not a friend.    brilliant poetry
Old age is afraid of the night
once again, of the one 
with no light,
with no end.  resolution that simultaneously introduces a new source of tension <3

Brilliant piece of work Busker. Shit, give me a minute.

Okay I think the last couplet should read,

once again, of one with no light,
with no end.

Also think there could perhaps be a few more lines after "friend" and before the final couplet. That moment deserves extension, maybe. Juicy stuff.