09-25-2025, 03:01 AM
I
What I miss most, my Phoebe, is your light.
II
You should be pleased to find, my Phoebe, how
From NaPM. I'm hoping to participate in a little local spook-off this October, and it's either this or the "Wind" verse which I'm submitting. Aside from your critiques, which do you think would be the better entry? Or are they both quite bad xD
What I miss most, my Phoebe, is your light.
The Master here unfailingly insists
what issues from the lasting punishment
of those that least offend him is enough
and, sure, reflected from the asphodels
it’s bright enough, but like an afternoon
governed by the crustacean or the cat
it’s much too hot, not to mention the noise,
the constant sputtering of molten rock.
Give me the silence of the night, permitting
hunters like us to focus as we stalk,
lovers like us to savor every word---
Ah, but you’re soon to crash again and speak
of what excuse your brother made this week....II
You should be pleased to find, my Phoebe, how
like to your merry band of nymphs, I’ve found
a flock of followers to call my own,
only we’re somewhat more diverse a throng.
More of us men, of course, or better called
mere boys---the fallen Icarus, the scorched
Phaëthon, and those hairless rumps desired
by two or more ungenerous divines---
but no small count of women, mainly elves
who all bemoan their choice never to pledge
themselves to you, as if your punishments
were not so harsh, or else your sworn defense
were so infallible....I must confess
I still love you, just never as goddess.From NaPM. I'm hoping to participate in a little local spook-off this October, and it's either this or the "Wind" verse which I'm submitting. Aside from your critiques, which do you think would be the better entry? Or are they both quite bad xD
