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[alonso ramoran]

Too familiar with the places dirt collects,
we saw through the Western veil
how life began in the middle
of a murdering lie, wishing that still water
could excuse itself of carrying death.
The sky was always echoing with cries.
We've always heard the droning
machines forcing through our bodies
into Palestine. On the closest horizon,
from the suffering of our martyrs, children
to mothers, the sorrowful weeps, storms
pull in tides, the dirt collects.

[brynmawr1]

Too familiar with the places dirt collects,     Great opening line
we saw through the Western veil
how life began in the middle    begins?
of a murdering lie, wishing that still water
could excuse itself of carrying death.
The sky was always echoing with cries.
We've always heard the droning
machines forcing through our bodies
into Palestine. On the closest horizon,       this section gets a little muddled for me with all the clauses
from the suffering of our martyrs, children
to mothers, the sorrowful weeps, storms
pull in tides, the dirt collects.  nice ending coming back to the dirt.

Hi Alonso,
I enjoyed this very much.  Had some minor suggestions/comments above.
Don't have a title suggestion for you.  Not my strong suit!
Take care,
Bryn

[Bunx]

Love this poem and the topic of genocide and Palestine. I love the internal rhyme "echoing with cries to Palestine." The irony of western censorship is so frustrating especially in social media. Seeing history repeat itself how being anti war, and pro Palestine is being morphed into whatever can be over looked and censored. Thank you for sharing this poem