Delores

[Bunx]

Delores

The strongest woman in my family
is someone I've never met.

Delores is more of an idea
a woman whose life shadows mine.

Stories about Delores,
are lessons that I wear
like dad's puffy coats
I find at my folks cabin.

When I cried
after losing medicaid
sitting next to the Missouri
I wonder if Delores did the same.

When my face swelled
with no help in sight
thinking it was the rot
in my teeth,
slowly realizing
that something else was the cause.

I wish you were there
to tell me
"you're not crazy".

When I cried on the phone
after my grandmother died
telling my dad I quit
my medication cold turkey.

I hope that you would be
proud I demanded the
treatment I deserve.

When my psychiatrist
who my insurance no longer
covers, gave me his number.
After running tests he told me
I might have never woken
up within the month.

I hope you were in
heaven sighing with relief.

Delores meaning is sorrow,
your death, your murder
was a reflection
of a power thirsty empire.
Where power is the means
and end.
Her sorrow is my strength.

Today I confessed to my boss,
everything after she asked
if I was "ok".

She gave me a long hug
I swear I felt your love through her.
I'm safe because of your sorrow.

I'll see you Delores
and cash in that hug
after our fight is won.

To me Delores means beauty
I can't wait to see you...
For the first time.

[TranquillityBase]

Delores

The strongest woman in my family
is someone I've never met.              nice first line

Delores, is more of an idea                    don't need that comma
a woman who's life shadows mine.           whose

Stories about Delores,
are lessons that I wear
as if dad's puffy coats                   like
I find at my folks cabin.

When I cried
after losing medicaid
sitting next tor the Missouri              typo for to
I wonder if Delores did the same.     my favorite stanza

When my face swelled
with no help in sight
slowly realizing, saving
to treat the rot in my
teeth that something
else was cause.                     this stanza is a little confusing, see below*

I wish you were there
to tell me
you're not crazy.              maybe add quotation marks thus:  "you're not crazy."

When I cried on the phone
after my grandmother died
telling my dad I quit
my medication cold turkey.

I hope that you would be
proud I demanded the
treatment I deserve.

When my psychiatrist
who my insurance no longer
covers, gave me his number(.)
After running tests saying          he/she told me
I might have never woken
up within the month.

I hope you were in
heaven sighing with relief.

Delores meaning is sorrow,
your death, your murder
was a reflection
of a power thirsty empire.
Where power is the means
and end.
Her sorrow is my strength.      another great stanza

Today I told my boss
everything after she asked
if I was ok.

She gave me a long hug
I swear I felt your love through her.
I'm safe because of your sorrow.

I'll see you Delores
and cash in that hug
after our fight is won.

To me Delores means beauty
I can not wait to see you...            can't
For the first time.

Bunx,

A very moving poem.  You speak of her "murder" and "thirsty empire" is a great phrase.  All in all, this poem is well polished.  Some suggested edits to make it clearer.

Thanks for the read.

TqB

*When my face swelled

with no help in sight
thinking it was the rot
in my teeth,
slowly realizing 
that something else was the cause.

[Bunx]

Traq, took all you're edits
I got to say too I love you're encouragement as well as your direct edit notes for college dropouts like myself

[Tiger the Lion]

Traq, took all you're edits
I got to say too I love you're encouragement as well as your direct edit notes for college dropouts like myself

I'm in the middle of something right now, I just wanted to drop in and say this is by far your best work, Bunx. At least from my 2 quick reads. I'll be back if I have something more to offer a bit later.

[Bunx]

Let's go!! Thank you so so much I agree
I can't wait to share how I'm using this poem
And "my family's angels"

Intro to the record: My Family Angels
Outro: Delores
concept for the third Rob Travolta record "negative spaces"
is my experiences within my mental health journey.

Negative Spaces is not emotion but more like the space in-between
Repeating life events or even like a rest in music. Life's not defined by "the moments that make you"
But the space between where you think about what you would have differently.
The physical copies will come with my favorites poems on here surrounding my mental health journey.

I'm going to thank Billy and Leanne for so much encouragement

Follow up
Tiger- writing on here for 12 years hearing this means alot to me, thanks a ton