Who knows

[busker]

Who knows

From the earth we came.
Into the earth we go.
Neither Plato nor Socrates
knew more about it than we know.

Nor the quaint aboriginal elder,
the Sentinelese with his bow,
nor the PhD from Boston,
the book writing Igbo,
the bullfighting Catalan
who wears it on his shoulder
as the bullring’s air grows colder

know.

[TranquillityBase]

Who knows

From the earth we came.
Into the earth we go.
Neither Plato nor Socrates
knew more about it than we know.

Nor the quaint aboriginal elder,            my only gripe is "quaint aboriginal elder", in particular "quaint"; how about "squatting"; I always see them squatting at a fire, passing on their wisdom.  "quaint" seems kind of superior sounding.
the Sentinelese with his bow,
nor the PhD from Boston,
the book writing Igbo,
the bullfighting Catalan
who wears it on his shoulder
as the bullring’s air grows colder  my favorite bit is the Catalan

know.

Very nice, especially the subtle rhymes, which I wasn't even aware of until I studied the poem more closely.  That's how rhymes should be, something I've yet to master.

[Kynaston Levitt]

Who knows

From the earth we came.
Into the earth we go.
Neither Plato nor Socrates
knew more about it than we know.

Nor the quaint aboriginal elder,
the Sentinelese with his bow,
nor the PhD from Boston,
the book writing Igbo,
the bullfighting Catalan
who wears it on his shoulder
as the bullring’s air grows colder

know.

Despite the fact I really hate these types of poems that rhyme some cliché bit of old "wisdom" in a poetic-sounding and patronizing tone, surely the very premise of this poem isn't as definitively, or matter-of-factly, true as it suggests. It's attempting to philosophize with me without doing any philosophy. There is no epistemology, here, or it's relationship to the philosophy of belief. It's essentially an opinion piece posing as a declarative statement posing as a poem. But, if that was what you were going for, you nailed it.

[busker]

Who knows

From the earth we came.
Into the earth we go.
Neither Plato nor Socrates
knew more about it than we know.

Nor the quaint aboriginal elder,            my only gripe is "quaint aboriginal elder", in particular "quaint"; how about "squatting"; I always see them squatting at a fire, passing on their wisdom.  "quaint" seems kind of superior sounding.
the Sentinelese with his bow,
nor the PhD from Boston,
the book writing Igbo,
the bullfighting Catalan
who wears it on his shoulder
as the bullring’s air grows colder  my favorite bit is the Catalan

know.

Very nice, especially the subtle rhymes, which I wasn't even aware of until I studied the poem more closely.  That's how rhymes should be, something I've yet to master.

Thanks, TqB.
Much appreciated!

[brynmawr1]

Who knows

From the earth we came.
Into the earth we go.
Neither Plato nor Socrates
knew more about it than we know.     Not sure this line works that well.  seems a little forced for the rhyme

Nor the quaint aboriginal elder,           agree with TqB, 'quaint' doesn't work in this context....maybe 'sage'? but better!
the Sentinelese with his bow,
nor the PhD from Boston,
the book writing Igbo,
the bullfighting Catalan
who wears it on his shoulder
as the bullring’s air grows colder    curious about 'it'.  referring to the red shoulder 'sash'? I'm thinking something to do with heart?

know.              I get stuck on the syntax that leads to this last word.

Hi Busker,

Since you posted in Misc., I will refrain from making hyperbolic statements about my personal taste in poetry and offer a few comments about the poem that work and don't work for me.  Overall, I think it reads well, except for the couple of spots noted above.  I do think it is more of a telling than showing poem but you put in nice details related to each culture that helps bring it from 30,000ft (or m) down to a more relatable level.  Also, despite my comment above, the rhyme scheme does work.  I hope you find my comments helpful.
Bryn

Whew, that was easy!

[busker]

@bryn - thanks for the crit.
This one’s a bit of a hastily dashed off poem, but as it’s complete in itself, I thought I’d post
You’re right in that it’s mostly telling - with the help of a cliche or two - than showing, and has all the flaws associated with doing that.

I’m glad the Igbo writer got some traction ?

The ‘it’ that the bullfighter wears is his own personal belief of what comes after death. He wears it in the sash on his shoulder, in a manner of speaking. That’s the rationalisation. But of course, it was done to fit the meter ?

---

Damn…my smileys became question marks

[RiverNotch]

Who knows

From the earth we came.
Into the earth we go.
Neither Plato nor Socrates
knew more about it than we know.

Nor the quaint aboriginal elder, -- better "Not", I think.
the Sentinelese with his bow,
nor the PhD from Boston,
the book writing Igbo, -- I suppose "bow" and "Igbo" are supposed to slant rhyme in the same way "Boston" and "Catalan" do, but because "Igbo" isn't really a word I expect a lot of readers to be familiar with, it's a choice that might teach a generation or two how to annoy a bunch of Nigerians.
the bullfighting Catalan
who wears it on his shoulder
as the bullring’s air grows colder

know.

---

I like the thought behind the piece. Forgive me for going pop, but this reminds me of one of my favourite songs:

https://youtu.be/yHCQ6Pgfk28

That said, that song works, if not as poetry-philosophy then at least as a bunch of words, because of its sense of shared wonder. It's democratic -- "this is something we all don't know; ain't that wonderful?" -- whereas this is more of a put down -- "this is something we all don't know, because we're all gonna die".

Only the choice of examples here makes the put down feel a little more patronizing, even sinister. "Plato" and "Socrates" are named authorities....the nameless aborigine is called "quaint". The person from Boston is identified by their Ph. D.....the person with a bow is identified by his ethnicity (and imagine if the line instead went "the Chinese with his bow"). The Catalan gets three lines evoking, say, Hemingway....the Igbo gets one, and with that note I wrote on pronunciation too.

Overall, "hastily dashed off" indeed -- the more I considered this, the less I liked it. It's good practice, though.

[busker]

@River - having read Achebe, the unintentional wonder Amos Tutuola, and the new writer Ngozi Adiche, I think it’s quite unfortunate that the genius of Nigerian literature is relatively unknown. I like Achebe quite as much as I love Dostoevsky.

Your remark on patronising descriptions made me think about my unconscious biases for a moment. Whether the othering of the savage is inevitable is a question worth of discussion, perhaps in a separate thread.

Thanks for your thought provoking crit