light
#1
light beyond the stars
beyond the deepest darkness
closer than our tears

light beyond the stars
beyond the deepest darkness-
closer than your tears
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#2
If the tears are that far away.....and my mind boggles.  I'm left in a state of wonder. I guess that's what a good poem should do, leave you in a sense of wonderment.

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#3
(12-21-2022, 10:53 PM)TranquillityBase Wrote:  If the tears are that far away.....and my mind boggles.  I'm left in a state of wonder. I guess that's what a good poem should do, leave you in a sense of wonderment.

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Thanks Tim-  I lost my youngest brother very recently, and it should've been his birthday last week.  That's how this one came to mind...  It's a kinda, sorta Christmas poem. I should've written this as "closer than MY tears" or "OUR tears" instead of "YOUR" tears, since he no longer has tears, but I/we still do.
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#4
(12-22-2022, 02:42 AM)Mark A Becker Wrote:  Thanks Tim-  I lost my youngest brother very recently, and it should've been his birthday last week.  That's how this one came to mind...  It's a kinda, sorta Christmas poem. I should've written this as "closer than MY tears" or "OUR tears" instead of "YOUR" tears, since he no longer has tears, but I/we still do.

I did wonder about the owner of those tears, so that would be a good change.
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#5
(12-22-2022, 03:09 AM)TranquillityBase Wrote:  
(12-22-2022, 02:42 AM)Mark A Becker Wrote:  Thanks Tim-  I lost my youngest brother very recently, and it should've been his birthday last week.  That's how this one came to mind...  It's a kinda, sorta Christmas poem. I should've written this as "closer than MY tears" or "OUR tears" instead of "YOUR" tears, since he no longer has tears, but I/we still do.

I did wonder about the owner of those tears, so that would be a good change.

I made the revision.
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#6
Interesting, poignant and to the point. Well done.
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