Comedy and Tragedy

[Semicircle]

There he stood,
a small man far below.
Fourteen months sober:
an interloper,
gone where he shouldn't go.

He told his story;
chilling to the core,
of little girls and razorblades-
the toke plume, the way it fades,
and drugs he took before.

He had us ask questions--
this miniscule man,
sadly only an uninterested two
broke through,
unnapreciated, off he ran.

I had a question for him 
when the lights were dim,
"What was it like overdosing
and waking up to more?
What was it like when your children
witnessed overdose four?"

I later made jokes about drugs
that the small man wouldn't approve of,
but he would have found them funny
if he had stuck around for
question three.

[TranquillityBase]

There he stood,
a small man far below.
Fourteen months sober:
an interloper,
gone where he shouldn't go.     Starts out nicely, a kind of Rumpelstiltskin quality, like a fairy tale

He told his story;
chilling to the core,
of little girls and razorblades-
the toke plume, the way it fades,
and drugs he took before.              My favorite stanza

He had us ask questions--
this small miniscule man,              don't need "small"
sadly only two
broke through,
unnapreciated, off he ran.    don't quite get why the questions (and what were they?) were unappreciated or why that made him run away

Sended off by knuckle cracks,
and children letting out a snore.           don't understand these lines
I had a question for him 
when the lights were dim,
"What was it like overdosing
and waking up to more?
What was it like when your children
witnessed overdose four?                    good question

How does it feel,
to be so small beneath me?
Do you feel happy
you avoided question three?"              The ending doesn't live up to the poem, IMO.  It's snappy, but seems a bit shallow.  Just a kind of "gotcha".

[Semicircle]

Thank you for the feedback tqb.

I have adjusted accordingly.

[alonso ramoran]

There he stood,
a small man far below. The opener doesn't do much for me. It doesn't tell me what this man is "far below" of and it opens with an image where nothing is really happening. I'd suggest coming up with something that characterizes this man more or just expanding on the "far below" imagery.
Fourteen months sober:
an interloper,
gone where he shouldn't go.

He told his story;
chilling to the core, This phrase is cliche. Here, I can kinda see how the poem is beginning to suffer from its rhyme scheme, which, to my knowledge (which is limited), doesn't belong to any traditional form. So, so far we have opened with a static image that safely adheres to the rhyme scheme to the detriment of the poem and then we have a cliched phrase that also adheres to the rhyme scheme, again, to the detriment of the poem
of little girls and razorblades- I like this line and the following line and the mystery behind them, really wish I could see more of this sort of imagery throughout the poem
the toke plume, the way it fades, personally I think "toke's plume" would sound better
and drugs he took before.

He had us ask questions--
this miniscule man, "minuscule" misspelled
sadly only an uninterested two
broke through,
unnapreciated, off he ran. "unappreciated" misspelled

I had a question for him 
when the lights were dim,
"What was it like overdosing
and waking up to more?
What was it like when your children
witnessed overdose four?" is there a preposition missing from this line?

I later made jokes about drugs
that the small man wouldn't approve of,
but he would have found them funny
if he had stuck around for
question three. Honestly, I'm not clear which question this is referring to, but that could be a comprehension issue from my end

I've critiqued the way that the N uses rhyme scheme a couple times in my feedback, but I'm kind of realizing now that the rhymes don't really keep to a scheme like they do in the first half. Something else I didn't mention, since this is a rhyming poem, is it doesn't seem to be aware of meter. Again it's somewhat consistent in the first half, but in the last stanza specifically it sounds like free-verse. I'd suggest writing this in free-verse first to sharpen your images and the themes you're trying to convey, then afterwards maybe explore some traditional forms that you would like to try rewriting the poem in.

Best,
Alex

[brynmawr1]

There he stood,
a small man far below.
Fourteen months sober:
an interloper,
gone where he shouldn't go.

He told his story;
chilling to the core,
of little girls and razorblades-               This is chilling (to the core)
the toke plume, the way it fades,
and drugs he took before.

He had us ask questions--
this miniscule man,
sadly only an uninterested two
broke through.
Unnapreciated, off he ran.

I had a question for him 
when the lights were dim,
"What was it like overdosing
only to wake up for more?
What was it like when your children
witnessed overdose four?"

I later made jokes about drugs
of which the small man wouldn't approve.
but He would have found them funny
if he had he stuck around for
question three.  For some reason "two" feels better to me.  I know you are trying to rhyme with funny, but...

Hi Semi,

I just found this one.  It is so inspired.  I have a few tweaks shown above.
Thanks,
bryn