In the sun

[busker]

In the sun 

Your lips were soft, honey -
smooth and delicate
(more hackneyed words weren’t said).
Eighteen, vigorous,
like a bond villainess in bed.

Cigarettes made you look
more grown up, legal age,
and I too was green
in the garden of love,
tongue tied, like a thrush 
that’s forgotten to sing.

O beautiful day,
we all had our time
to blush.

[Semicircle]

In the sun 

Your lips were soft, honey -
smooth and delicate
(more hackneyed words weren’t said).
Eighteen, vigorous,
like a bond villainess in bed.

Cigarettes made you look
more grown up, legal age,
and I too was green
in the garden of love,
tongue tied, like a thrush 
that’s forgotten to sing.    Clever, the cigerettes have worn his voice in by now.

O beautiful day,
we all had our time
to blush.  Regret

I like that this is a monologue,
a recounting of a warm memory.

It's sad, because this may be his one happy memory in life
that he looks back on.

At least that's what I gathered.
Thanks for the read,
Sc.

[Mark A Becker]

Hey busker-

Ah yes, those "precious moments" of blushing youth.
(more hackneyed words weren’t said) alludes to the lustful foolishness, when seen in retrospect.

One line made me stumble, though:
like a bond villainess in bed

Did you mean "Bond", as in the Bond flicks, or "bound", as in tied up? You either need a capital "B" or a "u" in that word.

Also, since this is from the past, the last line in S.2 is a sudden which in tense, and should probably read:
"that had forgotten how to sing."

I was wondering how the title fit since I at first figured this was happening outside. But you have a bedroom scene in there (and maybe it was a very sunny bedroom.) Yet when I substitute "In the Sun" for the last line "to blush" it worked itself out for me, as in "we all had our time in the sun."

... Mark

[Semicircle]

Hey busker-

Ah yes, those "precious moments" of blushing youth.
(more hackneyed words weren’t said) alludes to the lustful foolishness, when seen in retrospect.

One line made me stumble, though:
like a bond villainess in bed

Did you mean "Bond", as in the Bond flicks, or "bound", as in tied up? You either need a capital "B" or a "u" in that word.

Also, since this is from the past, the last line in S.2 is a sudden which in tense, and should probably read:
"that had forgotten how to sing."

I was wondering how the title fit since I at first figured this was happening outside. But you have a bedroom scene in there (and maybe it was a very sunny bedroom.) Yet when I substitute "In the Sun" for the last line "to blush" it worked itself out for me, as in "we all had our time in the sun."

... Mark

I also noticed the bond villian, 
which is a strange path for this poem to walk down.