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The Scented Candle

The Scented Candle
Torkelburger Offline
member
****
Posts: 28
Threads: 39
Joined: Jul 2020
#1
01-08-2022, 12:43 AM
The Scented Candle


warm feelings rest
beside

a scented candle
flame

licking the chilled
air

behind an open
book
Reply
Tiger the Lion Offline
The Whispered Roar
Posts: 751
Threads: 408
Joined: May 2014
#2
01-08-2022, 11:03 PM
(01-08-2022, 12:43 AM)Torkelburger Wrote:  The Scented Candle


warm feelings rest
beside

a scented candle
flame

licking the chilled
air

behind an open
book
I think it holds together pretty well. Maybe should be candle's.
Reply
busker Online
StarGazer
********
Posts: 471
Threads: 204
Joined: Dec 2017
#3
01-09-2022, 08:14 AM
(01-08-2022, 12:43 AM)Torkelburger Wrote:  The Scented Candle


warm feelings rest
beside

a scented candle
flame

licking the chilled
air

behind an open
book

I like “licking the chilled air”
Agree with Tiger on the apostrophe. A flame itself has no scent
Reply
Torkelburger Offline
member
****
Posts: 28
Threads: 39
Joined: Jul 2020
#4
01-12-2022, 04:14 AM
Thank you both!

Revision:

The Scented Candle

warm feelings rest
beside

a scented candle's
flame

licking the chilled
air

behind an open
book
Reply




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