The Tooth-ed Sir

[Kerbonzo_beenz]

Illustrious trilby
held by mysterious vaper
in the direst of moments 
down the cieling he'll taper.

A grey two piece suit,
red tie, and cap toe, 
but most noteable of all:
his teeth hanging low.

Swinger by fashion,
modest in caption.
Shaking their little tush on the catwalk:
the peek of fashion.

Limbs distorted and grim--
sprouting off from him.
A straight razor; 
if you get too close.

His teeth are so long and mishapen
because he lies through them often
Trying to cage them all in, 
but soon one breaks through.

That's when you finally see 
eyes through the myst of his body:

but you were never meant to see them.
Now you're just another lie,
to catch in his teeth.

[Tiger the Lion]

Illustrious trilby
held by mysterious vaper
in the direst of moments 
down from the clouds he'll taper. This inversion is so drawn out as to almost escape notice.

A grey two piece suit,
red tie, and cap toe, 
but most noteable of all:
his teeth hanging low.

Swinger by fashion,
modest, in caption. Don't need comma after modest
Shaking their little tush on the catwalk:
the peek of fashion. A word about pronoun choices in writing. There's nothing particularly wrong with "their" in this instance, though I believe "his" would be most grammatically correct. I think it's best practice for Poets to be aware and deliberate with pronouns. Much can be read into them if we get sloppy. So in this case it's not an issue other than going from the singular to the plural, but in some cases one casual pronoun can turn a poem on its head. Sorry for the long winded, unsolicited advice. 

Limbs distorted and grim--
sprouting off of him. Maybe "out from him"
A straight razor; 
if you get too close.

His teeth are so long and mishapen
because he lies through them often some cliche here
Trying to cage them all in, 
but soon one breaks through.

That's when you finally see
eyes through the myst of his body: I changed your line break to where I feel it should be. Your poem, only one opinion.


but you were never meant to see them.
Now you're just another lie,
to catch in his teeth.

[Kerbonzo_beenz]

Illustrious trilby
held by mysterious vaper
in the direst of moments 
down from the clouds he'll taper. This inversion is so drawn out as to almost escape notice.

A grey two piece suit,
red tie, and cap toe, 
but most noteable of all:
his teeth hanging low.

Swinger by fashion,
modest, in caption. Don't need comma after modest
Shaking their little tush on the catwalk:
the peek of fashion. A word about pronoun choices in writing. There's nothing particularly wrong with "their" in this instance, though I believe "his" would be most grammatically correct. I think it's best practice for Poets to be aware and deliberate with pronouns. Much can be read into them if we get sloppy. So in this case it's not an issue other than going from the singular to the plural, but in some cases one casual pronoun can turn a poem on its head. Sorry for the long winded, unsolicited advice. 

Limbs distorted and grim--
sprouting off of him. Maybe "out from him"
A straight razor; 
if you get too close.

His teeth are so long and mishapen
because he lies through them often some cliche here
Trying to cage them all in, 
but soon one breaks through.

That's when you finally see
eyes through the myst of his body: I changed your line break to where I feel it should be. Your poem, only one opinion.


but you were never meant to see them.
Now you're just another lie,
to catch in his teeth.

I was wondering if I should put in "their" somewhere but I just decided not to. I suppose it makes the difference.
The line break is a nice touch, I'll add that in.

[Tiger the Lion]

After rethinking it, the cliche I mentioned actually feels a bigger issue. From the title on this is really just your take on the idiom of "lying through one's teeth" What is your unique commentary? What makes this more than a rehashing of accepted knowledge? What I mean is, if the the poem wants to address a cliche, it needs a fresh angle...a hook.

[CRNDLSM]

Illustrious trilby hat?
held by mysterious vapor
in the direst of moments 
down the ceiling he'll taper. Some punctuation would help with the inversion.  I like the rhyme

A grey two piece suit,
red tie, and cap toe, 
but most noteable of all:
his teeth hanging low. I don't think you need any of this block, the next block is also about fashion, why don't you condense the two blocks 

Swinger by fashion,
modest in caption. Seems like a cheap rhyme
Shaking their little tush on the catwalk:
the peek of fashion. Especially for this line, why rhyme at all anywhere?  I'd combine this block with the previous and cut or change some lines

Limbs distorted and grim--
sprouting off from him.
A straight razor; 
if you get too close. I like how razor rhymes with taper

His teeth are so long and mishapen
because he lies through them often
Trying to cage them all in, 
but soon one breaks through.this suggests he's trying to keep from lying? Like there's a consious and an out of control entitity, no taper rhymes here or close rhymes,

That's when you finally see 
eyes through the myst of his body: doesn't seem too attached to consistency here, like a vapor...

but you were never meant to see them.
Now you're just another lie,
to catch in his teeth.you were never meant to see them but since you did see them that just means you are a lie.  I'm not sure what I'm supposed to see or think, I like some of the imageries though, an apparition 

[TranquillityBase]

Limbs distorted and grim--
sprouting off from him.
A straight razor; 
if you get too close.

His teeth are so long and mishapen
because he lies through them often
Trying to cage them all in, 
but soon one breaks through.

That's when you finally see 
eyes through the myst of his body:

but you were never meant to see them.
Now you're just another lie,
to catch in his teeth.

To me, this is your poem.  I don't see what those first 3 stanzas are needed for, unless they are rewritten to match the power of these lines.

TqB