poinsettia field

[easywayout]

sunset breeze;
the poinsettia field 
breathes red fire

[Magpie]

Hi, although I'm unsure about the use of abstract imagery in short form poetry such as haiku I do like the image that you have presented here and seeing as though you haven't specified that it is a haiku then it's fine with me. Have you played around with line structure because I feel that moving line 1 to the end would work better, also do you need 'red'?

Just a couple of thoughts, cheers for the read and the beautiful image,

Mark

[easywayout]

Hi, although I'm unsure about the use of abstract imagery in short form poetry such as haiku I do like the image that you have presented here and seeing as though you haven't specified that it is a haiku then it's fine with me. Have you played around with line structure because I feel that moving line 1 to the end would work better, also do you need 'red'?

Just a couple of thoughts, cheers for the read and the beautiful image,

Mark

Hi Mark,

Thanks for the crit and the thoughts! 

Cheers
Tanvi

[philip]

Hello EWO,

Nice imagery within the haiku form, I enjoyed reading.
Good advice already given, but for me, the last line needs rephrasing into something more original.

just my thoughts..........P

[easywayout]

Hey Philip, appreciate the comment! Will give it some thought. Cheers, Tanvi