New York

[Exit]

New York
 
 
New York only New York
baby New York.
And I’ll see you when you 
say through me 
that you’re the only mother fucker in this city
that can plagiarise this song
 
 
I sang it like that in Boston and picked my toenail and picked and picked away and got my thumbnail and used it like a blade and managed to get a slice into it. And then pulled it. But it was too deep. Came off under that bit above blood and stinging. But I had to do it. It was already halfway done. I couldn’t leave half me toenail hanging off. I had to commit to it. It stung and bled. But I yanked it off and thought it was over. But then there was that white dry bit of nail hanging off my toe like a raw nerve. I thought “that’s gonna catch on something”. That little bit of dry white nail under the nail. And it caught on my sock, my shoe, my bedsheets. 
It fell off in the end and I forgot about it. 

[Valerie Please]

The meter is off on the last line of your rhyme. There’s a lot of single syllable verbs that could stand in for plagiarize. Crib, steal, ape, poach, wreck...just a thought, if you want the beat to fit there. If you don’t, then by all means, carry on.

New York
 
 
New York only New York
baby New York.
And I’ll see you when you 
say through me 
that you’re the only mother fucker in this city
that can plagiarise this song
 
 
I sang it like that in Boston and picked my toenail and picked and picked away and got my thumbnail and used it like a blade and managed to get a slice into it. And then pulled it. But it was too deep. Came off under that bit above blood and stinging. But I had to do it. It was already halfway done. I couldn’t leave half me toenail hanging off. I had to commit to it. It stung and bled. But I yanked it off and thought it was over. But then there was that white dry bit of nail hanging off my toe like a raw nerve. I thought “that’s gonna catch on something”. That little bit of dry white nail under the nail. And it caught on my sock, my shoe, my bedsheets. 
It fell off in the end and I forgot about it. 

[Joyful Noise]

Love the sensory details. Perhaps you could discuss the area of breakage more? Lean into the description of the split? And would the nail catch on both your sock and your shoe? Might be good to replace shoe with something else or delete it (thought I do like the listing of three). Really captured my interest, nice work.

[Exit]

The meter is off on the last line of your rhyme. There’s a lot of single syllable verbs that could stand in for plagiarize. Crib, steal, ape, poach, wreck...just a thought, if you want the beat to fit there. If you don’t, then by all means, carry on.

New York
 
 
New York only New York
baby New York.
And I’ll see you when you 
say through me 
that you’re the only mother fucker in this city
that can plagiarise this song
 
 
I sang it like that in Boston and picked my toenail and picked and picked away and got my thumbnail and used it like a blade and managed to get a slice into it. And then pulled it. But it was too deep. Came off under that bit above blood and stinging. But I had to do it. It was already halfway done. I couldn’t leave half me toenail hanging off. I had to commit to it. It stung and bled. But I yanked it off and thought it was over. But then there was that white dry bit of nail hanging off my toe like a raw nerve. I thought “that’s gonna catch on something”. That little bit of dry white nail under the nail. And it caught on my sock, my shoe, my bedsheets. 
It fell off in the end and I forgot about it. 

"wreck" 

You're a funny fucker

---

Love the sensory details. Perhaps you could discuss the area of breakage more? Lean into the description of the split? And would the nail catch on both your sock and your shoe? Might be good to replace shoe with something else or delete it (thought I do like the listing of three). Really captured my interest, nice work.

I feel a bit bad for capturing anyone's interest with this nonsense. But thanks.