My Kindergarten Teacher [Explicit Language]

[Caine]

My Kindergarten Teacher

My Kindergarten Teacher told me that
I'd either be a retard or genius
I thought there was no difference,

Day dreams just feel distant
The time is closin' in
My heart's pump don't match my pace,

Breathe escape; shell's encase
My Father's roof shall crack
And I will be born again,

Flip a coin cause I stand
To gain everything

[alonso ramoran]

My Kindergarten Teacher

My Kindergarten Teacher tells me that
I'd either be a retard or genius
I thought there was no difference,

Day dreams just feel distant
The time is closin' in
My heart's pump don't match my pace,

Breathe escape; shell's encase
My Father's roof shall crack
And I will be born again,

Flip a coin cause I stand
To Gain Everything

Hi Caine,
A poem with language loose as this maybe would be easier to read with lower case letters beginning each line? And maybe lower case those other words like "gain" and "everything", words that don't need to be capitalized. I also wish you lingered on the topic of your kindergarten teacher a little more, since it was in the title.

[QDeathstar]

My Kindergarten Teacher

My Kindergarten Teacher tells me that
I'd either be a retard or genius. present tense and past tense makes these lines very confusing for me
I thought there was no difference,"Comma your way into the next stanza? Why?! It's not purposeful, it's not sensible, it's not even stylistically poetic" ~ Tectak. Going back, maybe you want told and not tells?

Day dreams just feel distant
The time is closin' in
My heart's pump don't match my pace,

Breathe escape; shell's encase
My Father's roof shall crack
And I will be born again, this is an interesting way to describe suicide

Flip a coin cause I stand
To Gain Everythingodd capitalization and superfluous cliche make the ending weak.

[Caine]

My Kindergarten Teacher

My Kindergarten Teacher tells me that
I'd either be a retard or genius
I thought there was no difference,

Day dreams just feel distant
The time is closin' in
My heart's pump don't match my pace,

Breathe escape; shell's encase
My Father's roof shall crack
And I will be born again,

Flip a coin cause I stand
To Gain Everything

Hi Caine,
A poem with language loose as this maybe would be easier to read with lower case letters beginning each line? And maybe lower case those other words like "gain" and "everything", words that don't need to be capitalized. I also wish you lingered on the topic of your kindergarten teacher a little more, since it was in the title.

my Kindergarten Teacher tells me that
I'd either be a retard or genius
I thought there was no difference,

day dreams just feel distant
the time is closin' in
my heart's pump don't match my pace,

breathe escape; shell's encase
my Father's roof shall crack
and I will be born again,

flip a coin cause I stand
to gain everything

I lowercase all of the first lines. Did you mean lowercase all the first lines , even the beginning of the sentence?

Also, the tittle is flexible. I didn't know what to title it so I just used kindergarten teacher.

[alonso ramoran]

Including the beginning of the sentence, but that's just my opinion.

[Caine]

My Kindergarten Teacher

My Kindergarten Teacher tells me that
I'd either be a retard or genius. present tense and past tense makes these lines very confusing for me
I thought there was no difference,"Comma your way into the next stanza? Why?! It's not purposeful, it's not sensible, it's not even stylistically poetic" ~ Tectak. Going back, maybe you want told and not tells?

Day dreams just feel distant
The time is closin' in
My heart's pump don't match my pace,

Breathe escape; shell's encase
My Father's roof shall crack
And I will be born again, this is an interesting way to describe suicide

Flip a coin cause I stand
To Gain Everythingodd capitalization and superfluous cliche make the ending weak.

I edited it to told, ty.

Honestly how should I punctuate it, if not commas? 

Also I'm a strong believer in reader's interpretation but I did not write it int he intent of suicide.

As for the ending I edited to lower case.  Cant you elaborate on the superfluous cliche.

[rose]

My Kindergarten Teacher

My Kindergarten Teacher told me that
I'd either be a retard or genius
I thought there was no difference, The idea in this stanza is really fascinating. The opening line mentioning your kindergarden teacher makes it more relatable.

Day dreams just feel distant
The time is closin' in
My heart's pump don't match my pace,

Breathe escape; shell's encase
My Father's roof shall crack I'm a bit confused what you mean by "My Father's roof shall crack." Are you referencing your father's abuse or disappointment, or your own internal emotion? 
And I will be born again,

Flip a coin cause I stand
To gain everything Maybe earlier on mention what areas in life you are referring to when you say that you "stand/ To gain everything." I really life the how the poem ends with a shorter stanza and the rhythm cause by each lines length. 

[silentseas]

Hey, the first two stanzas really set up the poem well, I think. I feel like the narrator felt like they were faced with these choices and expectations. I was personally curious as to how to first half of the poem is related the second. I think those two could be brought closer together if you were interested in going that direction. Again, great job and especially like the first two stanzas.

Also, "shell's encase" is a really interesting phrase - did you have something in particular in mind when you wrote that?

Thank you for posting!

[Ineedadrinkor2or3]

My Kindergarten Teacher

My Kindergarten Teacher tells me that
I'd either be a retard or genius
I thought there was no difference,

Day dreams just feel distant
The time is closin' in
My heart's pump don't match my pace,

Breathe escape; shell's encase
My Father's roof shall crack
And I will be born again,

Flip a coin cause I stand
To Gain Everything

Hi Caine,
A poem with language loose as this maybe would be easier to read with lower case letters beginning each line? And maybe lower case those other words like "gain" and "everything", words that don't need to be capitalized. I also wish you lingered on the topic of your kindergarten teacher a little more, since it was in the title.

my Kindergarten Teacher tells me that
I'd either be a retard or genius
I thought there was no difference,

day dreams just feel distant
the time is closin' in
my heart's pump don't match my pace,

breathe escape; shell's encase
my Father's roof shall crack
and I will be born again,

flip a coin cause I stand
to gain everything

I lowercase all of the first lines. Did you mean lowercase all the first lines , even the beginning of the sentence?

Also, the tittle is flexible. I didn't know what to title it so I just used kindergarten teacher.

-I think the first line works better with told
-Kindergarten, teacher, and father aren't proper nouns, so I don't think they should be capitalized either
-line 3 stanza 1 would work better as " I didn't think there was a difference"
-Personally I like line 2 of the second stanza better as "time is closing in"
- I think line 3 stanza 2 works better as 2 lines, between pump and don't.
- I would change the aforementioned "don't" to "doesn't"
- I'm not a fan of ending stanza 2 with a comma
- I think there should be a comma after "coin" and an apostrophe before cause

Sorry, I know that was a lot, but I think the poem has some excellent bones and I want to see it flourish.

[ClaireLou]

Although I'm not keen on on the title or the placement of the punctuation, I've added a few bits , overall I like it,

My Kindergarten Teacher told me that
I'd either be a retard or genius,
I thought there was no difference.

Day dreams just feel distant,
the time is closin' in,
my heart's pump don't match my pace.

Breathe escape; shell's encase,
my Father's roof shall crack
and I will be born again.

Flip a coin cause I stand
to gain everything

[Hannah]

I like the imagery and the overall tone, but the voice seems to change with every stanza. I'm wondering if that was on purpose and if so what the intent was? The second stanza seems to add an accent to the speaker's voice that I wasn't picking up on in the first. And then in the third stanza the voice gets almost biblical? Or at least grander in voice than the second.