Posts: 444
Threads: 285
Joined: Nov 2011
< needed >
actors
to tape the truth
for my enemies
and bathe me in
fine
bright
lies
artists
to paint me
just a little gray
and not forget
to kiss my enemies
and lend them clothes
of white
dancers
to lead me
off this stage
and show me
how to move
to left and right and day and night and black and white
- - -
Old Version:
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
Posts: 580
Threads: 71
Joined: Oct 2015
I couldn't connect the picture to the poem...?
The first strophe hints at something political, but I can't follow ththink second and third.
I like 'lies'/'white', but not 'white/night'. Sticking to slant rhymes might be better here
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe
Posts: 444
Threads: 285
Joined: Nov 2011
(08-10-2017, 06:44 PM)Achebe Wrote: I couldn't connect the picture to the poem...?
The first strophe hints at something political, but I can't follow ththink second and third.
I like 'lies'/'white', but not 'white/night'. Sticking to slant rhymes might be better here
Thanks. Worked with it and changed the last stanza in response to your and vagabond's comments.
The clothes in the picture are a literal illustration of the metaphorical ones in the poem.
I tried doing more slants, but the perfect ones rebelled...
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions