Cross

[Tiger the Lion]

Cross
 
Some days you are unforgiving.
Other days it’s me.
 
Who dies at the confluence?

[vagabond]

Cross
 
Some days you are unforgiving.
Other days it’s me.
 
Who dies at the confluence?

interesting. I´d say no one.

[just mercedes]

I wanted to read 'congruence' - not sure why. Flowing together doesn't seem to be what's happening, maybe.

[nibbed]

Hi Tiger the lion,

Cross
 
Some days you are unforgiving.
Other days it’s me.
 
Who dies at the confluence?




When I saw the word Cross,
right off I thought of the Cross of Calvary.
How is it unforgiving?
Though the cross may represent the Crimson Flow,
how does a confluence fit in?
Does the title represent a verb and not a noun?
I wanted to make the poem 6 lines.
Forgiveness is healing, in both directions.
Maybe that's the confluence, when forgiveness flows
and the one who dies, dies to self?
So much to consider.
Best wishes to you!
Janine

[QDeathstar]

Tiger, i think you have a nice frame work for a more elaborative poem. While there is something to be said for short bold statements, i think to go straight from being unforgiving to dying is too much.

[RiverNotch]

Cross
 
Some days you are unforgiving.
Other days it’s me.
 
Who dies at the confluence?

the two words that mean the most here are "cross" and "confluence". both can mean, equally, a crossing of paths, confluence the meeting of streams, cross the meeting of sticks, or of roads. "unforgiving" easily pulls me to a more religious interpretation, with "cross" also referring to the cross of Christ, and "confluence" being, perhaps, the crossing of the streams of water and blood, or the "confluence" of humanity and divinity in Christ. the question posed, through this framework, perhaps concerns a dialectic between the human and divine sides of the speaker, or perhaps between the human speaker and the divine listener, or even the divine speaker and the human listener -- "who dies at the confluence?" ultimately asks who or what is lost at the end, who or what is corrupted, incarnated, sacrificed, etc. you have a framework here, and honestly i'm not gonna be bothered if the framework stays only as a framework, but the point is the word choice works, and i'd probably have something more concrete given time, although in such a manner as to impose too much of myself on the piece.