Rain Dance

[CRNDLSM]

Lord of the sun,
humble, you cover the land.
The grains of my guilt grow hotter;
keep me cool in you're infinite fans.

Lord of the wind,
carry me in your hands;
lift me up when I falter;
support me that I may stand.

Lord of the earth,
let the river flow through your dams.
My roots will wilt without water,
disintegrating in the sand.

Lord of the trees, 
thirst limits the growth in your plants,
anxiously awaiting the thunder
that signals the end of their dance.

Lord of the beasts,
You came to me and I ran,
but nothing compares to your hunger.
Forgive your wayward lambs.

Lord of kings,
I'm not an innocent man,
but like David before the altar,
it's justice that you demand.

God is truth, love, and infinite.
God is in all things.
God is good.

[dukealien]

This is very intricately and subtly assembled - the scheme of near-rhymes from stanza to stanza is almost missable until you read back through, looking for it.

The stanza of kings, I couldn't help being reminded of King David's last words ("He that ruleth over men must be just, ruling in the fear of God.  And he shall be as the light of the morning, as the sun riseth, even a morning without clouds.  As the tender grass, springing out of the earth by clear shining." [KJV]).  (Thank you, Randall Thompson, after all these years.)

The final stanza didn't quite work for me.  Speaking of God's qualities and attributes in absolute terms is perfectly satisfactory, but I guess I was hoping for a Lord of Men or Lord of Gods stanza.  Guess it has to stop somewhere, or you end up with angels and archangels.  Sorry, just an old authoritarian, me.

A few seeming modern references, but very good.  Thanks for posting!

[CRNDLSM]

The David line I had the scene of him and his men eating grains or something in the temple which is normally forbidden but for them the exception was made, war or something. The last three lines were a separate meditation I used, and combined them for a song, the first half being the poem, the second the meditation. I always think I'll alienate my readers/listeners, but at the same time I don't really care, just write what I do when I do it... thanks duke!

[kolemath]

yeah i could do without the final stanza too as it throws off the rhythm/repetition. it works though, like another bible verse.

Lord of the sun. some consistency issues in the poem. take for example this line you end with a period, while all other stanza openers are followed by commas. i'd stick with commas
Humble, you cover the land. good connection: sun to land cover to heat
The grains of my guilt grow hotter;
keep me cool in you're infinite fans. like the duke said, some of these modern tech examples are a bit jarring but i'm not against their presence in the poem. they kind of update old wisdom

Lord of the wind,
carry me in your hands;
lift me up when I falter;
support me that I may stand. a bit abstract in this stanza but not a bad stanza

Lord of the earth,
let the river flow through your dams.
My roots will wilt without water,
disintegrating in the sand.

Lord of the trees, 
it's limiting growth in your plants, back to the inconsistencies in the poem, this stanza is unlike the others. L2 is quite confusing actually. i want to say you were going for possessive 'its,' as 'it is limiting growth' is almost nonsense. btw, that is 'it's' referring to anyway?
anxiously awaiting the thunder
that signals the end of their dance. i can't pull a clear main verb from this stanza and the grammatical subject is 'it' which doesn't clearly refer to another noun. 

Lord of the beasts,
I'm doing the best that I can, a weaker stanza of the poem..the seamless transition of images (as you demonstrate in S1 from sun to cover to heat to fans) doesn't happen here..beasts to trying hard, no, beasts to hunger, yes, but hunger to running, no, but beasts to ran, yes.
but nothing compares to your hunger.
When you came to me, I ran.

Lord of kings,
I'm not an innocent man,
but like David before the altar,
it's justice that you demand. good connection from innocent to justice but abstract.

God is truth, love, and infinite.
God is in all things.
God is good.

overall a good read. thanks

[RiverNotch]

Lord of the sun,
humble, you cover the land.
The grains of my guilt grow hotter; Just to clean things up, make things more regularly Biblical, I'd rather cleaning up the punctuation a bit. Comma instead of semicolon.
keep me cool in you're infinite fans. "your", not "you're".

Lord of the wind,
carry me in your hands; Period.
lift me up when I falter; Comma.
support me that I may stand.

Lord of the earth,
let the river flow through your dams. A little weird -- so you want God the Supreme's dams to be destroyed? you praise him, then ask him to be torn down? Thus, maybe not "your".
My roots will wilt without water,
disintegrating in the sand. Better to support the parallelism here -- "disintegrate".

Lord of the trees, 
thirst limits the growth in your plants,
anxiously awaiting the thunder The structure of the sentence is a little weird here, I think, as "anxiously awaiting the thunder" is not as vivid as everything else so far, considering these are plants. Also, I just noticed the rhyme scheme, so that's good.
that signals the end of their dance. At least here you break free from the regular syntax.

Lord of the beasts,
You came to me and I ran, You didn't capitalize "your" before, so why not go the fully English route and not capitalize it here, either?
but nothing compares to your hunger. Ugh, I think of Prince's "nothing compares to you". But no, not a serious thought.
Forgive your wayward lambs. I do like the speaker talking about being ravaged by God.

Lord of kings,
I'm not an innocent man,
but like David before the altar,
it's justice that you demand. I don't think the David before the altar thing works for all throughout the poem, since the baking metaphor isn't consistent -- that is to say, the temple contained bread, not plain grains. But the feeling does pervade, so you don't have to remove David -- if you want to somehow crystallize it, though, maybe add something that talks about flour-grinding and ovens.
I also notice the movement, interrupted by the sudden abstractness of the following stanza -- from sun, to earth, to kings. As is the history of creation, I suppose, and the history of civilization. Smooth.

God is truth, love, and infinite.
God is in all things.
God is good. I agree with the earlier notes. This whole stanza is expendable.

So again, bar the last stanza, smooth. Close to being as vivid as the Bible, but who can be as vivid as the Bible, these days, and not just plain copy it? Lovely work.