Animus
#1
If I had a heart, said the kitten, said the cat,
it would float like a bubble, fancy that.
It could ride like a ribbon in the hair of a queen,
quite as hard as a winter but in soft velveteen,
and all other hearts would be base and obscene
-- but I don’t, said the kitten, said the cat.
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#2
it reminds me of a poem and now i'm pissed that i can't remember what it was. maybe it reminds me of the cheshire cat in alice... love the ribbon image
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#3
I like the contrast of voice and content. the light diction works well against the cynical reality of the poem. the last line is my favorite: so declarative and sobering
Thanks to this Forum
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#4
Thanks folks.
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#5
(07-23-2016, 06:38 AM)Leanne Wrote:  If I had a heart, said the kitten, said the cat,
it would float like a bubble, fancy that.
It could ride like a ribbon in the hair of a queen,
quite as hard as a winter but in soft velveteen,
and all other hearts would be base and obscene
-- but I don’t, said the kitten, said the cat.
I could read an entire book of verse like this, especially to my son before he goes to bed.

It definitely gives you an Alice in Wonderland feel as if the Chesire is displaced in time to talking to itself. I love the "quite as hard as a winter but in soft velveteen." It hints at cruelty and adult reality behind playful absurdity. Wonderful final line.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
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#6
I once adopted a nomad cat or so I thought, but it turned out that the only times she'd leap into my arms would be when the grass  was wet.  And I don't know why I assumed it was a she.
Lovely stuff.
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe
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#7
(07-23-2016, 06:46 AM)billy Wrote:  it reminds me of a poem and now i'm pissed that i can't remember what it was. maybe it reminds me of the cheshire cat in alice... love the ribbon image
I mean, it's not a poem, but still:

The poem ends kinda, kinda abruptly, but that ties very well with the theme. Also, yeah, it does remind me of a the cheshire cat, but moreso some other character...........and now i'm pissed that i can't remember who it was.
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#8
(07-23-2016, 06:38 AM)Leanne Wrote:  If I had a heart, said the kitten, said the cat,
it would float like a bubble, fancy that.
It could ride like a ribbon in the hair of a queen,
quite as hard as a winter but in soft velveteen,
and all other hearts would be base and obscene
-- but I don’t, said the kitten, said the cat.

I was going to say what Billy said - that your poem reminds me of the Chesire cat in Alice in Wonderland.  Very fantastical language; it evokes imagery of a fantasy world and takes me into the world of the unknown, so to speak.  Great job -- AND I love the rhyme scheme!

~blue
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#9
Thanks folks, glad it reminded you of something -- I mean, who'd want to be original, right?
It could be worse
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#10
you stand/sit next to greatness it seems Big Grin
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#11
I want a heart that's base and obscene too - they seem to have more fun
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