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The Buyastats
The Buyastats were everywhere,
they're down below and in your hair,
while some said in the color blue,
they're here and there, all saying boo!
And they say boo! Boo, boo, boo-boo.
Like tiny pico minabites,
suppressing noise that's colored white,
I feel like crying Boo, Boo-Who.
Ubiquitous these Buyastats
that know just when and where you're at.
No porn or bets for all will know,
there's no time now for "whack the mole".
The worst kind of brutality,
preforced religiosity,
a rise in snottioscapee,
enforced, absurd morality.
So kill all of the Buyastats,
take gun in hand, just where you're at,
oh damn this really ruins my day,
the government took guns away.
erthona
©2016
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Posts: 1,187
Threads: 250
Joined: Nov 2015
(02-21-2016, 12:28 AM)Erthona Wrote: The Buyastats
The Buyastats were everywhere,
they're down below and in your hair,
while some said in the color blue,
they're here and there, all saying boo!
And they say boo! Boo, boo, boo-boo.
Like tiny pico minabites,
suppressing noise that's colored white,
I feel like crying Boo, Boo-Who.
Ubiquitous these Buyastats
that know just when and where you're at.
No porn or bets for all will know,
there's no time now for "whack the mole".
The worst kind of brutality,
preforced religiosity,
a rise in snottioscapee,
enforced, absurd morality.
So kill all of the Buyastats,
take gun in hand, just where you're at,
oh damn this really ruins my day,
the government took guns away.
erthona
©2016
Delightful. Aside from the content, which is very nice, use of iambic tetrameter - the classic comic meter in English - is just right. "Snottioscapee" is grand, too.
I did stumble a bit in the last stanza since I don't normally say "roons" or "gummint," but - given the statistical quintiles of my current income, politics, and living arrangements - perhaps I should. Oddly, Google turns up ads for "static caravan" rentals when queried with "buyastat." Apparently the Brits have trailer trash, too (but unlike this commenter, they don't have guns [ Ed. - Sure they don't  ].)
 Non-practicing atheist
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Joined: Dec 2016
Paul wrote: "I did stumble a bit in the last stanza since I don't normally say "roons" or "gummint,""
oh damn this real-ly ruins my day,
the gov-ern-ment took guns a-way.
That's how I speak it, but you're right "ruins" is two syllables [roo-in], government however is 3 syllables [guhv-ern-muh nt] just as I wrote it. Using the "rule of three" where if there are three unaccented syllables, the middle one gets the accent. in this case "ment".
But you are correct on S5L3, I have an extra syllable. That's funny as I have never noticed anyone pronounce it as anything more than a diphthong, like [roo˘ins]. How strange. I guess I need to go watch some more History docs on Egypt to see how they pronounce it. Where did you grow up, and where did your parents grow up? If you don't mind.
Yes, "Snottioscapee" is almost a word worthy of LC. I'm quite good at making up fake words when real ones just won't do.
Anyway, glad you liked it.
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Posts: 1,187
Threads: 250
Joined: Nov 2015
How embarrassing (for me)  ! I thought "government" had too many syllables because I read the line as "the government took my guns away." If I were a linotype operator (do they still exist?) I'd have committed the cardinal sin of not following copy. Anyway, the stumble was self-induced.
Cincinnati, and central Pennsylvania. I pronounce it "roo' inz; I've only ever heard one person (my first deputy, from Kansas) prounounce it something like a spondee ("roo' eenz' " - second syllable notably drawn out, perhaps even stressed a bit more than the first). His regional drawl was speeded up to a normal pace on most words, he having been a car salesman before joining up, so that one stuck out.
(02-22-2016, 08:21 AM)Erthona Wrote: Paul wrote: "I did stumble a bit in the last stanza since I don't normally say "roons" or "gummint,""
oh damn this real-ly ruins my day,
the gov-ern-ment took guns a-way.
That's how I speak it, but you're right "ruins" is two syllables [roo-in], government however is 3 syllables [guhv-ern-muh nt] just as I wrote it. Using the "rule of three" where if there are three unaccented syllables, the middle one gets the accent. in this case "ment".
But you are correct on S5L3, I have an extra syllable. That's funny as I have never noticed anyone pronounce it as anything more than a diphthong, like [roo˘ins]. How strange. I guess I need to go watch some more History docs on Egypt to see how they pronounce it. Where did you grow up, and where did your parents grow up? If you don't mind.
Yes, "Snottioscapee" is almost a word worthy of LC. I'm quite good at making up fake words when real ones just won't do.
Anyway, glad you liked it.
dale
Non-practicing atheist
Posts: 1,827
Threads: 305
Joined: Dec 2016
The problem for me is I consult the dictionary when I am doing a critique, but rarely when I am writing. 
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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