Birches bend and shed their bark, but should they bend for me?

[spherical]

Birches bend and shed their bark
to conquer obstacles impending
for every leaf to reap the light
to start anew each season’s ending

Now several transformations in
the birches soon will share their home
and hardy branches weaved through kin
will find their passageways are blocked

And foreign structures standing tall
where once were only forests vast
containing creatures unfamiliar
present extraordinary tasks

With might and careful adaptation
the birches twist and find their path
through hesitant amalgamation
forming bond to thrive as one –

but bending to the will of none

[H[a/o]llowheart]

I really liked the rhythm of the poem. Especially the first paragraph, with the consonance in line one and the assonance in line three. However, the flow gets a bit iffy later on. You switch up the rhyme scheme from ABAB to ABAC, then to ABCB, and finally ABACC. The inconsistency breaks up the sing-song aspect of the poem. As for some nitpicks: I think that "with might and careful adaptation" and "through hesitant amalgamation" should be right next to each other. They're both prepositional phrases (someone correct me if I'm wrong on that, my grammar sucks >_>) and sound a bit awkward one after another when they're not in the same chunk. Also, describing the trees as using "might and careful adaptation" personifies them as being calculating and focused, while "hesitant" has a weaker, insecure connotation. You could consider changing that. 

All that being said, I love the last two lines! The play on the repetition of the word "bend" as well as encapsulating the idea of nature > artifice, or at least the battle between the two, brings the poem home with a nice punch. 

[spherical]

I appreciate your feedback! All duly noted. I'll continue to poke at it.

[toinfinity]

This is very interesting, I enjoy your style. I think the rhythm is great, but shakey in parts, particularly in the second paragraph. I think that's the only one that needs a little bit of work though, the rest flows nicely.

The last line is fantastic, and really brings the piece together for me. Is that the line you formed the poem around?

Good job! Keep writing, you're a great poet

[billy]

watch the rhyme and meter; don't let them get away from you, i pointed out a couple, there are more.

Birches bend and shed their bark if you start the line with [the] you'll fix the meter
to conquer obstacles impending
for every leaf to reap the light
to start anew each season’s ending

Now several transformations in
the birches soon will share their home
and hardy branches weaved through kin
will find their passageways are blocked no rhyme?

And foreign structures standing tall
where once were only forests vast
containing creatures unfamiliar meter too long, if you change containg to [and] it would work
present extraordinary tasks again the rhyme feels forgotten

With might and careful adaptation
the birches twist and find their path this is a good image
through hesitant amalgamation
forming bond to thrive as one –

but bending to the will of none

[spherical]

Thanks for the feedback, billy and toinfinity - it is appreciated very much.

I mix things up where rhyming is concerned. I don't follow rules very well, at least in my writing. 

impending / ending
in / kin
vast / tasks
adaptation / amalgamation
one / none

Does it read too awkwardly? I can make the rhyme scheme a bit more conventional.

---

Oh, and no - I didn't write the poem around the last line. It hadn't struck me until I got there, actually. That's one of the things I love so much about writing. If something is meant to be, it'll be!

[milo]

Birches bend and shed their bark
to conquer obstacles impending
for every leaf to reap the light
to start anew each season’s ending

what is "obstacles impending"?  It looks like you mean to say "impending obstacles" but are stuck for a rhyme so you invert the word order.  Doing this makes your writing appear clunky and forced.

Now several transformations in
the birches soon will share their home
and hardy branches weaved through kin
will find their passageways are blocked

"Now several transformations in the birches soon will share their home" - you seem to have some grammatical confusion here.  How does a transformation share its home?

And foreign structures standing tall
where once were only forests vast
containing creatures unfamiliar
present extraordinary tasks

"forests vast", "creatures unfamiliar" - again, you are twisting the natural word order to force a rhyme  Better idea to search for better wording until the flow is natural.

With might and careful adaptation
the birches twist and find their path
through hesitant amalgamation
forming bond to thrive as one –

but bending to the will of none

Kind of messed up the scheme here at the end, easy enough to fix though - 

With might and careful adaptation

forming bonds to thrive as one –
through hesitant amalgamation
but bending to the will of none

You might want to go through carefully and analyze your grammar and logic to make the poem read more naturally as well as edit.

Thanks for posting.
Good Luck.

[spherical]

Thanks, milo. The word order was intentional and felt natural to me in this particular poem. I appreciate the tips regarding grammar, though. That's not necessarily my strong suit. Thank you.

I'll keep working on edits.

[3zu]

1st line - "Birches bend..."
Last line - (birches) "bending to the will of none"
Is it just me or are we having it both ways at the same time here? Everyone really ok with this? No mention of it in the replies.

"and shed their bark to conquer obstacles..." - birch trees don't shed their bark for this reason, they shed bark in response to the new bark beneath pushing out to take it's place on the surface - was there no poetry to be found in that fact for you?

spherical, you have a fanciful imagination. I'm sure further employment of it will hone your skill in it's use. The words get in the way here. Perhaps excessive concern with being poetical ?

[spherical]

3zu,

Fair criticism, and thank you for reading. I appreciate it.

The play on two forms of the word "bend" is crucial to the poem. I can bend my body but not bend to the will of somebody else - two unique meanings.

I can play with the first stanza. Good suggestions. I considered beyond the how and into the why. The shedding is an exfoliation process. They do it to adapt and thrive. Nonetheless, I agree with your feedback.

Thanks again.