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A Lack of Empathy?

A Lack of Empathy?
71degrees Offline
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#1
03-02-2015, 03:30 AM
Original

What remains
after sin?


Edit #1

Certain folks
tell me it's what
remains after sin.
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tectak Offline
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#2
03-02-2015, 04:21 AM
(03-02-2015, 03:30 AM)71degrees Wrote:  What remains
after sin?

....a question mark?

tectak
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just mercedes
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#3
03-02-2015, 04:30 AM
What remains
after sin?
gle?
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ellajam Offline
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#4
03-02-2015, 04:40 AM
what remains
after sin
atonement
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

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Leanne Offline
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#5
03-02-2015, 04:59 AM
tax
It could be worse
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71degrees Offline
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#6
03-02-2015, 05:48 AM
(03-02-2015, 04:21 AM)tectak Wrote:  
(03-02-2015, 03:30 AM)71degrees Wrote:  What remains
after sin?

....a question mark?

tectak

I wasn't sure if the poem is correct to the title. Maybe the question mark should be on the title?
(03-02-2015, 04:30 AM)just mercedes Wrote:  What remains
after sin?
gle?

"gle?" Not sure I follow...glee? maybe?
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just mercedes
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#7
03-02-2015, 05:51 AM
(03-02-2015, 05:48 AM)71degrees Wrote:  
(03-02-2015, 04:21 AM)tectak Wrote:  
(03-02-2015, 03:30 AM)71degrees Wrote:  What remains
after sin?

....a question mark?

tectak

I wasn't sure if the poem is correct to the title.  Maybe the question mark should be on the title?
(03-02-2015, 04:30 AM)just mercedes Wrote:  What remains
after sin?
gle?

"gle?"  Not sure I follow...glee?  maybe?

After you sin you're single again. Smile
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71degrees Offline
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#8
03-02-2015, 05:57 AM
(03-02-2015, 05:51 AM)just mercedes Wrote:  
(03-02-2015, 05:48 AM)71degrees Wrote:  
(03-02-2015, 04:21 AM)tectak Wrote:  ....a question mark?

tectak

I wasn't sure if the poem is correct to the title.  Maybe the question mark should be on the title?
(03-02-2015, 04:30 AM)just mercedes Wrote:  What remains
after sin?
gle?

"gle?"  Not sure I follow...glee?  maybe?

After you sin you're single again. Smile

Of course. Mebad Blush
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Tiger the Lion Offline
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#9
03-02-2015, 06:19 AM
I agree with tectak. "Empathy?" would be a strong title. Reinforces the uncertainty.
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shemthepenman Offline
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#10
03-02-2015, 07:18 AM
a sweaty smell and nasty stain on the sheets :/
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71degrees Offline
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#11
03-02-2015, 09:55 AM
(03-02-2015, 06:19 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  I agree with tectak. "Empathy?" would be a strong title. Reinforces the uncertainty.


Thanks. Don't think he liked it but the question mark on the title is my idea  Wink
(03-02-2015, 07:18 AM)shemthepenman Wrote:  a sweaty smell and nasty stain on the sheets :/

Interesting take on sin (or lack of empathy). I couldn't tell which. Tongue
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shemthepenman Offline
there are no bold statements in my paradiddle
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#12
03-02-2015, 11:26 AM
(03-02-2015, 09:55 AM)71degrees Wrote:  
(03-02-2015, 06:19 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  I agree with tectak. "Empathy?" would be a strong title. Reinforces the uncertainty.


Thanks. Don't think he liked it but the question mark on the title is my idea  Wink
(03-02-2015, 07:18 AM)shemthepenman Wrote:  a sweaty smell and nasty stain on the sheets :/

Interesting take on sin (or lack of empathy). I couldn't tell which.  Tongue

I think it is pretty much the Original take on Sin
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71degrees Offline
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#13
03-03-2015, 11:50 PM
(03-02-2015, 11:26 AM)shemthepenman Wrote:  
(03-02-2015, 09:55 AM)71degrees Wrote:  
(03-02-2015, 06:19 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote:  I agree with tectak. "Empathy?" would be a strong title. Reinforces the uncertainty.


Thanks. Don't think he liked it but the question mark on the title is my idea  Wink
(03-02-2015, 07:18 AM)shemthepenman Wrote:  a sweaty smell and nasty stain on the sheets :/

Interesting take on sin (or lack of empathy). I couldn't tell which.  Tongue

I think it is pretty much the Original take on Sin

I like this response best. Thumbsup
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Deadrise Offline
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#14
03-08-2015, 02:12 AM
(03-02-2015, 03:30 AM)71degrees Wrote:  Original

What remains
after sin?

Stains remain
after sin.

(On sheets and souls)
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