Clown

[Brownlie]

There was a time, a great while ago,
when fools,
buffoons
or so called Jester's 
could take a beating from a king
and then watch him renounce himself,
but then he went the way of an asylum
as if safe harbor 
were two different words.
The laughter and the death of God
was just too much for him
to take
and now,
there's nothing sadder than a clown,
his very face is pock-marked gilt.

[ChristopherSea]

There was a time, a great while ago,
when fools,
buffoons
or so called Jester's 
could take a beating from a king
and then watch him renounce himself,
but then he went the way of an asylum
as if safe harbor 
were two different words.
The laughter and the death of God
was just too much for him
to take
and now,
There's nothing sadder than a clown
His very face is pock-marked gilt.

brownlie, I can't see your photo, but that's alright as I am a bit clown phobic. I like the piece, but I feel that 'disconnected' might work better than 'two different'. They are two different words that work in conjunction to create the third.  

Also, you have two caps in those last lines and you may need some sort of punctuation after 'clown.'

I assume you mean gilt as in gild and not guilt, although they all might work. Cheers/Chris

[Brownlie]

There was a time, a great while ago,
when fools,
buffoons
or so called Jester's 
could take a beating from a king
and then watch him renounce himself,
but then he went the way of an asylum
as if safe harbor 
were two different words.
The laughter and the death of God
was just too much for him
to take
and now,
There's nothing sadder than a clown
His very face is pock-marked gilt.

brownlie, I can't see your photo, but that's alright as I am a bit clown phobic. I like the piece, but I feel that 'disconnected' might work better than 'two different'. They are two different words that work in conjunction to create the third.  

Also, you have two caps in those last lines and you may need some sort of punctuation after 'clown.'

I assume you mean gilt as in gild and not guilt, although they all might work. Cheers/Chris

 
Thanks for reading. Safe Harbor/ Safe Haven are redundant lexical phrases (or they're called something like that), but the two different words part is probably confusing. Also, the picture is Ronald McDonald for the hell of it I suppose.