01-06-2015, 12:58 AM
Rise my love and shine;
your hour is here and dressed
for a grand entrance.
your hour is here and dressed
for a grand entrance.
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Resolution 'Ku
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01-06-2015, 12:08 PM
that's just what's happening here when I read this
the sun is coming up over the mountains good one
01-06-2015, 12:20 PM
High Paul, glad to see you back writing again. I agree with SJJ, I have no critique.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
01-06-2015, 12:37 PM
Lovely!
01-07-2015, 11:19 AM
Thanks guys, for reading and commenting. I was attempting to take a cliche phrase, in this case "rise and shine" and dismantle and reassemble it with fresh meaning. "Rise" and "shine" are two incredibly positive verbs. This was my attempt to exploit them.
Paul 
01-07-2015, 11:34 PM
can I be honest with you? It's still a cliche even if you insert a parenthetical expression into it, it's not really reinvented. Sure, you may be speaking to the new year, or the sun or your own resolution to do something but just because you could have many meanings for "my love" doesn't make it not cliche.
The rest is just brilliant, though.
01-08-2015, 12:08 PM
(01-07-2015, 11:34 PM)bena Wrote: can I be honest with you? It's still a cliche even if you insert a parenthetical expression into it, it's not really reinvented. Sure, you may be speaking to the new year, or the sun or your own resolution to do something but just because you could have many meanings for "my love" doesn't make it not cliche.Bena, I prefer it when you lie to me.  Point taken, Paul |
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