morning, January 1

[cjchaffin]

morning, January 1


The streets are quiet, finally.
Hopes and dreams litter the sidewalk
alongside beer bottles and party favors,
neglected clichés clinging to one another
as I sweep them all away.

[srijantje]

I like that one,old camel

[ellajam]

Me too, sweep mine away while you're at it.

Happy New year, CJ, been missing your posts.

[cjchaffin]

I like that one,old camel

thank you 

---

Me too, sweep mine away while you're at it.

Happy New year, CJ, been missing your posts.

thanks Marcella. i been missin this place too...life has been a bit crazy as of late but i hope to be around more now that things are settling. i'll get to sweepin!

[Tiger the Lion]

morning, January 1


The streets are quiet, finally.
Hopes and dreams litter the sidewalk
alongside beer bottles and party favors,
neglected clichés clinging to one another
as I sweep them all away.

Hey CJ. I like this one. I do think there is some ambiguity in the punctuation. If I am reading it correctly, I think the comma after "favors" needs to be a semicolon. 
If not, and "beer bottles, party favors and neglected cliches" are all one list, then I think you need a comma after "bottles" moving the "and" to before "neglected". Hope that math adds up.
Thanks for sharing,
Paul

[cjchaffin]

hiya Paul. thanks for the read. i think i see what you're getting at there with the punctuation but i'm not sure that works.
i'll take another look at it here shortly and see if i can make it make more sense. thanks!