Pilate

[paranoid marvin]

Pilate

Hands washed.
Scrubbed.
Think they may be bleeding
(no blood, not again!)
They're clean now,
Clean I tell you
Of that dread decision
(out damn' spot - ha!)
Conscience clear
Adam's sin removed
Once more
(but not the Apple)
Had I tasted forbidden fruit
From the tree of knowledge
Would I lie here still?
(tossing and turning)
Who am I to judge?
What right have I
To judge Man from God
(or God from Man)

Don't answer that
Please don't answer....

[Filíocht]

The sheer confusion of it, as it drops from line to line
with a structure to make one wonder
how the poem didn't simply fall off the page
It also works wonderfully in conveying the message in what
I believe to be the intended one (what I got)
of humility & guilt in mortality.
I do love chewing this juicy bone, and can
confirm for your sense & your sweet conscience
that there is no God but man.

[azure]

Pilate

   Hands washed.
   Scrubbed.
   Think they may be bleeding
   (no blood, not again!)
   They're clean now,
   Clean I tell you
   Of that dread decision
   (out damn' spot - ha!)
   Conscience clear
   Adam's sin removed
   Once more
   (but not the Apple)
   Had I tasted forbidden fruit
   From the tree of knowledge
   Would I lie here still?
   (tossing and turning)
   Who am I to judge?
   What right have I
   To judge Man from God
   (or God from Man)

   Don't answer that
   Please don't answer....

Poems with religious subject matter give me heartburn. This one seems erratic, jumbled and leaves one feeling confused. I did enjoy your thought processes though, and I can certainly relate. I think that this one needs to be expressed more concisely, otherwise it will just come across as the ramblings from an overly analytical mind. It gave me a headache.

Azure

[paranoid marvin]

Thanks. It was meant as the ramblings of a man gone mad. Does need a lot of tidying up.

[azure]

Thanks. It was meant as the ramblings of a man gone mad. Does need a lot of tidying up.

Ah, the mad men. Washing hands until they bleed clean. Indeed good sir.

Azure

[Isaias]

Pilate
   Hands washed.
   Scrubbed.
   Think they may be bleeding
   (no blood, not again!)
   They're clean now,
   Clean I tell you
   Of that dread decision
   (out damn' spot - ha!)
   Conscience clear
   Adam's sin removed
   Once more
   (but not the Apple)
   Had I tasted forbidden fruit
   From the tree of knowledge
   Would I lie here still?
   (tossing and turning)
   Who am I to judge?
   What right have I
   To judge Man from God
   (or God from Man)
   Don't answer that
   Please don't answer....

I enjoyed this poem. I interpreted it as being about someone with OCD, who got to third-base and is now freaking out about it. Though I do understand that it's more likely about Pontius Pilate and his decision to give Jesus up to Jewish custody. Either way, it works for me. I think the structure suits the content well. I wish I had some negative critique to offer, but I don't. Solid piece.

[jonatron5]

I see the potential for a garment but as it stands now its in threads.
And honestly i cant even suggedt anything without making huge alterations to your co tent becuase its sorganizeed. My advice would be s tick woth the content and refine. And organize.

Or you could go the other way with it and say thats what your shooting for is something crazy almost incoherent flowing from o e thing to the other as the mind thinks. Yet undertones of planning and intelligence.
For example see the literary classic. Finnigans wake

[lock1]

Pilate
Hands washed.
Scrubbed.
Think they may be bleeding
(no blood, not again!)
They're clean now,
Clean I tell you
Of that dread decision
(out damn' spot - ha!)
Conscience clear
Adam's sin removed
Once more
(but not the Apple)
Had I tasted forbidden fruit
From the tree of knowledge
Would I lie here still?
(tossing and turning)
Who am I to judge?
What right have I
To judge Man from God
(or God from Man)
Don't answer that
Please don't answer....

I like the sporadic nature of it, it's abstract and the message came across relatively clear. I also like the contradiction at the end.

[calypist]

All I could think of when I read this was Macbeth.

I don't have much to say, the poem didn't really speak to me. It just screamed Macbeth.

[Beacherjosh]

This poem read to me like a continues line of conscious and unconscious thought. I enjoyed that, it was like being able to read this person's mind. I have to agree with Isaias, I got the vibe that the hand washing was OCD in fashion, but also along the lines of washing your hands of sin. With this in mind, I went further into the possible metaphor that maybe he is compelled to "sin" (which I assumed the sin was something of a sexual nature) I really enjoyed this poem, but I did find following the thought process took some big leaps. It maybe a little too scattered, but manageable.