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https://dl.dropbox.com/s/7ny14jcohrk5hrk/Gainer%20Girl.m4a?dl=0
Gainer Girl
[Verse 1]
My
Umbrella's open
Underneath a solar storm.
Birds,
Silhouetted, drift
Noiselessly above the world.
[Verse 2]
Gainer tempts me--
Jackknife, too!
But my purposelessness . . .
I'm a rhapsody in blue!
[Verse 3]
Handle bars . . .
Broom straw . . .
Island advertisements--
Is this paradise?
[Verse 4]
Tap tap,
I surrender!
Knock knock--
Who's there?
Let's not talk about it . . .
There's a world where
No one cares!
I want that purple jacket;
You can have my love.
Hold on to your frustrations--
I can be quiet.
[Verse 3]
Baseball cards . . .
Petty theft . . .
Stained-glass cartoons . . .
Hand me it?
A world of balloons!
A yak is normal.
Posts: 250
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Joined: Dec 2013
It seems to me that capped lines is the standard in lyrics--anybody know if that's right or not? I dislike it, but I'm a glutton for usage . . .
A yak is normal.
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I don't know why I'm reading this in a Bob Dylan voice.
I'll be there in a minute.
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If you want it to be readable only cap the line that begins a sentence. I think it has more to do with the site as to how the lyrics are presented, although people who are older tend to cap the first line, but that has not been the case in poetry since the 1950's anymore than we center justify. Both are about readability. It is easier to read when it is left justify and only the beginning of the sentence is capped.
Ginsberg's "Howl" is not capped except at the beginning of the sentence:
"I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,"
I have written lyrics on occasion, and I follow the left justify only cap sentences. I don't really see any reason not to do so.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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news...if you listened to it, you'd know it's not bob. What a fantastic voice! I cannot say how brilliant this is, esp in a
cappella, WTF dude we need to collaborate before I die. This is transfixing. I will admit...it seriously does not read as well on the page. But what do I care when it sounds like that.....
mel....once a crooner
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most lyrics i read have capped lines, that said most most people spell there. they're and their wrong. it's a choice, readability-wise i always prefer caps to start a new sentence. one thing i could never fathom about lyrics was why nearly all of them were cliche rich
. i didn't listen to the song (i couldn't) and i don't do the download thing. have you tried putting it on youtube in order to make it more accessible? as far as songs go it reads okay but i can't see any depth to the words.
(10-16-2014, 02:19 AM)crow Wrote: https://dl.dropbox.com/s/7ny14jcohrk5hrk/Gainer%20Girl.m4a?dl=0
Gainer Girl
[Verse 1]
My
Umbrella's open
Underneath a solar storm.
Birds,
Silhouetted, drift
Noiselessly above the world. the first verse are stanza, a verse rhymes. though i suppose in songs stanza is an unused word 
a decent non-cliche opening.
[Verse 2]
Gainer tempts me--
Jackknife, too! are these musicians, artists perhaps? could you give the reader/listener more?
But my purposelessness . . .
I'm a rhapsody in blue! i bet you're really a cliche
[Verse 3]
Handle bars . . .
Broom straw . . .
Island advertisements--
Is this paradise? i don't thing the ... are really needed.
[Verse 4]
Tap tap,
I surrender!
Knock knock--
Who's there?
Let's not talk about it . . . i got nothing here apart from someone knocking on the door and someone surrendering it feels a bit like gratuitous submission.
There's a world where
No one cares! again it feels very cliche
I want that purple jacket;
You can have my love.
Hold on to your frustrations--
I can be quiet.
[Verse 3]
Baseball cards . . .
Petty theft . . .
Stained-glass cartoons . . .
Hand me it?
A world of balloons!
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He could upload to soundcloud or bandcamp if he wanted to join....not sure he will....(btw, it's impossible to get viruses from mp4's---they aren't exe files and dropbox is really a great site)
But in case he won't go to the trouble.....what he says to describe it is that it's about a 15 yr old girl considering suicide. The images are things from childhood and of course the angsty years. It is just his voice (that's what a cappella means to you non-music folks) and doing that while doing jazz runs without slipping in pitch is almost downright impossible.
Think of "My Funny Valentine" if you want to know the type of jazz, then convert that into a silken male voice.
He's probably newest fav musician in a long time, speaking from a jazz major.
And now...I will stop fangirling.
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Threads: 85
Joined: Dec 2013
Bena--I'm on soundcloud for sure. Is that a better medium?
Were you saying you want to collaborate on something? I'm in. Just txt me at 682-429-5235
A yak is normal.
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Threads: 85
Joined: Dec 2013
billy,
--Stanza is a valid, used term in songs.
I'm a rhapsody in blue! i bet you're really a cliche
--yes. The cliche is an angsty teen-aged female victim of earlier abuse. But is that a problem?
On verse 3, the ellipses make it grammatical. I can skip that?
On verse 4--you're right, and I need to fix that.
"one thing i could never fathom about lyrics was why nearly all of them were cliche rich"--because those lyrics are crappy. Just like mine when I use a cliche.
There's a world where
No one cares! again it feels very cliche
--I'm missing the cliche, but I trust you.
A yak is normal.
Posts: 250
Threads: 85
Joined: Dec 2013
I think a good case has been made for not capping lines. I'll conform to that usage futurewise.
A yak is normal.
Posts: 250
Threads: 85
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 294
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Joined: Sep 2013
Yes, I would love to collaborate. But before skype I need to find my headphones that have a mic. Of course, they were "borrowed' for my sons' studio and never returned, although theyve/i've bought way better crap now
BTW my dropbox is full----give me a while to hear what you've sent.
I wasn't saying soundcloud was a better medium, billy was just really hesitant to download anything; that was my suggestion........
I shall get back to you soon~
mel!
