suburban jungle

[cjchaffin]

I run through fields of recycled rubber
and brightly colored metal foliage,
stalked by tiny savages armed with water pistols,
birthday cake smeared on faces like war paint.

Somewhere in the distance,
a Chevy Impala bleats an alarm
as frazzled mother and screaming brood
fall upon it in a frenzy of fits and sugar-fueled fury…

[just mercedes]

Oh, I can see and hear it all! I wanted the last line to have 'sugar-fueled fury' though.

[cjchaffin]

Oh, I can see and hear it all! I wanted the last line to have 'sugar-fueled fury' though.

yesssss! thank you! i love it.

[Tiger the Lion]

Hey CJ. I love the "F" sounds in the last 2 lines. Reading aloud I almost had to wipe the spittle from my mouth. A nice flurry of indignation to end on.

[cjchaffin]

Hey CJ. I love the "F" sounds in the last 2 lines. Reading aloud I almost had to wipe the spittle from my mouth. A nice flurry of indignation to end on.

hahaha! a ferociously frank response, monsieur tigre merci!