Amphigouri
#1
This is no sonnet. Please don't count the feet,
for they have wandered far across the page
and left no prints; they travelled by conceit
and arrogance. They stomped upon a stage
too bright for them, too delicate and pure,
and tripped. They would have fallen, but the choir
was soft and sang the sweetest overture
to clumsy interlopers. We aspire
to laurels, accolades and patrons grand
whose pockets match our own inflated worth;
we mentally design ourselves a brand
to leave a mark upon this barren earth.
Abandon hope of glory, praise or purse:
You've naught to sell but this, a worthless verse.
It could be worse
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#2
Not really nonsense Leanne more like our harsh realities placed under a spotlight, very much enjoyed. Best Keith

If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
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#3
(07-20-2014, 04:18 PM)Leanne Wrote:  This is no sonnet. Please don't count the feet,
for they have wandered far across the page
and left no prints; they travelled by conceit
and arrogance. They stomped upon a stage
too bright for them, too delicate and pure,
and tripped. They would have fallen, but the choir
was soft and sang the sweetest overture
to clumsy interlopers. We aspire
to laurels, accolades and patrons grand
whose pockets match our own inflated worth;
we mentally design ourselves a brand
to leave a mark upon this barren earth.
Abandon hope of glory, praise or purse:
You've naught to sell but this, a worthless verse.

Well, the line break on conceit is very nice.
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#4
LA,

Emptiness is surely difficult to sell, but there are large pocketed matrons who will buy it if the package is just right, leaving it upon the coffee table to give the impression they are well read.

Does not seem nearly as nonsensical as that guy who wrote about the little girl galumphing frontally through a backwords mirror in a rabbit's hole. Such unpleasant intercourse. Of course they did blend two into one, to make a movie that was less then it's parts. Of course I always love seeing Helena Bonham Carter, despite the fact she can't act...she has such dreamy eyes (to bad she is a cannibal, still I would kiss her if I could be sure she didn't have pieces of long pork in her teeth). Was this about a poem,,,sorry, I forgot.

dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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#5
i counted the feet and as i suspected there wasn't too many Dodgy is travelled two L's in aus?

what makes it suck is that you probably wrote it in less than a few minutes. i could very easily hate you for such a thing. it would hav taken me 6 hours and wouldn't have been half as good. Thumbsup

(07-20-2014, 04:18 PM)Leanne Wrote:  This is no sonnet. Please don't count the feet,
for they have wandered far across the page
and left no prints; they travelled by conceit
and arrogance. They stomped upon a stage
too bright for them, too delicate and pure,
and tripped. They would have fallen, but the choir
was soft and sang the sweetest overture
to clumsy interlopers. We aspire
to laurels, accolades and patrons grand
whose pockets match our own inflated worth;
we mentally design ourselves a brand
to leave a mark upon this barren earth.
Abandon hope of glory, praise or purse:
You've naught to sell but this, a worthless verse.
Reply
#6
Yeah... I got nothing Confused

Billy, it's 'travelled' in standard British English, 'traveled' in US.

Thanks folks (it took at least half an hour to write, by the way). Now, I shall return to being very concerned about Dale.
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#7
I'm sure you learned to speak in poetry, learned the alphabet by writing rhyming acrostics. You rock - it seems so easy for you.
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#8
I find if you just ignore Dale, it works wonders. I hear he has a fascination with anyone with boobs, and I think that includes himself. It always amazes me the effortlessness with which you write. Then again, I can't praise you too much, wouldn't want to give you the big head, then you'd topple over.

m.
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#9
(07-22-2014, 01:36 AM)bena Wrote:  I find if you just ignore Dale, it works wonders. I hear he has a fascination with anyone with boobs, and I think that includes himself. It always amazes me the effortlessness with which you write. Then again, I can't praise you too much, wouldn't want to give you the big head, then you'd topple over.

m.

Nah, she needs that big head to balance out her boobs, without it she might topple.

And if you ignore Dale til he goes away you'll just be crying about it.

To the poem, worthless verse is a very valid topic for me right now, it would be fun to write that well even with no reward. Enjoyed it.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

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#10
Oh, ignoring Dale won't cause him to go away....I just ignore it when he goes off on a tangent like his fantasy of kissing a cannibalistic Helena Bonham Carter. He probably carries floss in his pocket, just in case. Wink
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#11
I do have a nice pair, although it keeps me from jogging. It is a perfectly good sonnet if one removes the first line and substitutes a line of IP. Of course it is somewhat nonsensical as some, but if one has no sense of nonsense they will most likely go insane, or get a job as a tax collector. I am not trying to be offensive to tax collectors, but I don't know how to speak of them without being offensive. Have we talked about my boobs yet?
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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#12
Screw you Dale, it's already IP. What lingo do you sprechen?

I have B-cups. I don't need a man with a big mouth.
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#13
Engresh,

Nope sorry you're correct, I misread the first line as starting out as trochee. My dyslexia was kicking in I suppose. I was reading it as


This is no sonnet


Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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#14
I read this.

My poetry sucks.
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#15
(07-22-2014, 07:47 PM)maximumjake Wrote:  I read this.

My poetry sucks.

I have the same problem. Big Grin Leanne's work is inspiring, though. If you're of a mind to improve the practice threads are a goldmine, Almost a year here and I can almost write in IP. Big Grin
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips

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#16
from wikipedia:

The aggressive spillover hypothesis suggests that the more aggressive a female is concerning prey, the more likely the female is to cannibalize a potential mate.[14] The decision of a female to cannibalize a male is not defined by the nutritional value or genetic advantage (courtship dances, male aggressiveness, & large body size) of males but instead depends strictly on her aggressive state.[9][14] Aggression of the female is measured by latency (speed) of attack on prey. The faster the speed of attack and consumption of prey, the higher the aggressiveness level.[19] Females displaying aggressive characteristics tend to grow larger than other females and display continuous cannibalistic behavior.
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#17
Wondering where Jake went... did that cannibalistic female finally make him happy? Big Grin
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