Have you known misery?

[Cyferz]

Have you known misery as many have before?
Is darkness an old friend, kept buried in your past;
Was there a time in life that you let your heart soar
To find another dream, had smoldered into ash

[QDeathstar]

As the reader, why bother answering the question?

[Cyferz]

As the reader, why bother answering the question?

Quatrains that encapsulate a single thought happen to be my specialty.

[billy]

for me there needs to be an answer. something solid. at present it's too non specific. that makes it less interesting.
i think a few words could be lost without damaging the poem

thanks for the read

Have you known misery as many have before? [well] instead of [many have before]
Is darkness an old friend, kept buried in your past;
Was there a time in life that you let your heart soar
To find another dream, had smoldered into ash is [had] needed is the comma needed? end with a period.

[QDeathstar]

As the reader, why bother answering the question?

Quatrains that encapsulate a single thought happen to be my specialty.

Well, meh.


Make a unique thought then.

[milo]

Have you known misery as many have before?
Is darkness an old friend, kept buried in your past;
Was there a time in life that you let your heart soar
To find another dream, had smoldered into ash

darkness, misery, past, time, life, dream

these are all vague abstractions. poetry is built on concrete nouns.

[LorettaYoung]

Have you known misery as many have before?
Is darkness an old friend, kept buried in your past;
Was there a time in life that you let your heart soar
To find another dream, had smoldered into ash

darkness, misery, past, time, life, dream

these are all vague abstractions. poetry is built on concrete nouns.

---

Hi Cyferz: I like your abstractions, anyone with introspection know darkness, misery, dream, etc. But misery is a large topic and in a longer poem you would have to reveal things in nouns to be understood. For instance, what can you compare to letting your heart soar; the reader wants to know more. Loretta

[Erthona]

This seems more a questionnaire than a poem.

"Quatrains that encapsulate a single thought happen to be my specialty."

Who told you that?
Did you pay him money?
Did he know poetry?
Caveat emptor.

Did you ever contemplate using correct punctuation?

"Is darkness an old friend"
"Hello darkness my old friend" Paul Simon - "The sounds of Silence"

"Was there a time in life that you let your heart soar" trite/cliche
__________________________________________________________

"As the reader, why bother answering the question?
Quatrains that encapsulate a single thought happen to be my specialty."

Do you realize that doesn't answer the question?

Dale

[Always]

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[billy]

two dots do not feedback make, please leave feedback and not pigeon shit/admin