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Let me sing you of my troubles
All my woes and all my sorrows
Ever clear and two buck bottles
Red and swollen blistered fingers
Peeling skin on bones that fractured
Reaching like the wrinkled water
Praying to the greying moonlight
Singing songs of flaming water
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no expert but it sounds right to me. Good job.
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Wrinkled water is awesome
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Thanks for reading, Whitman wrote about wrinkled waves and the form is imitating Longfellow's song of Hiawatha.
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(05-13-2014, 04:21 PM)Brownlie Wrote: Let me sing you of my troubles
All my woes and all my sorrows
Ever clear and two buck bottles
Red and swollen blistered fingers
Peeling skin on bones that fractured
Reaching like the wrinkled water
Praying to the greying moonlight
Singing songs of flaming water
How many ways can Trochaic Tetrameter be read? It can surly be confusing
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(05-18-2014, 05:00 AM)Thoughtjotter Wrote: (05-13-2014, 04:21 PM)Brownlie Wrote: Let me sing you of my troubles
All my woes and all my sorrows
Ever clear and two buck bottles
Red and swollen blistered fingers
Peeling skin on bones that fractured
Reaching like the wrinkled water
Praying to the greying moonlight
Singing songs of flaming water
How many ways can Trochaic Tetrameter be read? It can surly be confusing
Well, I think there is a distinct feeling to the form. It seems to give itself to a list of images fairly well. In this case, I suppose I was imitating a rendition of Song of Hiawatha which I posted in the music section. Hence, the flaming water. Thanks for reading.
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(05-21-2014, 05:40 PM)serloco Wrote: I enjoyed the line singing songs of flaming water, reminded me of a vision of hell i had where the water shot out in flames. nice poem thank you for sharing.
Thanks for reading, based on Cooper's description of Magua (which could be wrought with racialist problems), fire water can certainly lead to a metaphorical hell!