By the Rim of My Shadow
#1
Hello everyone,
this is my first post ever. I'd like to know what do you think of my poem (if you can call it 'poem'). I don't know...I don't show this to many people, so here it goes... greetings.

By the rim of my shadow,
clockwise,
tender skin,
each feather of the sparrow holds a dream,
my dream.

The night yearns for prisoners,
despicable,
unkind,
steel ashes,
magnolias,
all here,
all mine.

Feel the earth howl like thunder,
wicked daylight,
come in,
clear up the way for the dead ones,
go away,
go away.

Rattled beat for the Caesar,
sweet deception,
unite,
heaven up-down,
secure us,
all here,
all ours.

By the rim of my shadow,
unpleasant,
insane,
every edge,
every arrow has a name,
my name.
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#2
Hello Gina.
Your poem had no grounding for me, I could not make out what it was that you were trying
to communicate to me (the reader).

Keep writing.

JG
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#3
Even though I don't know what the poem is saying, there are some appealing stylistic cadences. It is too cryptic. I would really like to know what it is you are trying to say.
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#4
Don't make no sense to me no how. Hulk Smash!


dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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