Behind closed door. (First edit)

[Ryan_w_r]

A transparent white veil draped across her face,
Walking down the aisle,
Side by side with a dark suited man,
Arms interlocked, tight embrace.

The haunting growl of organs echoing through the halls,
Biblical imagery and stain glass windows adorn the opaque, limestone walls.

Slowly approaching the altar, her pulse begins to quicken,
Nerves setting in, her stomach turns, and rapidly begins to sicken.

Sensing young the woman's angst,
the man beside her attempts to put her mind at ease.
Leans in and whispers,
"Don't worry my dear it will be over soon... Remember, this is Gods decree"

The reassurance and soft spoken words put her in a peaceful place.
As did the sight of the priest, and the welcoming smile on his face.

When she approached the altar the priest stood and said
"do not fret my little lamb, for you are completely free of sin"

Then he glanced up and shouted
"be seated my children, the ceremony is about to begin"

*************************************
So Elegant in life,
So Graceful in death.
She lay across a stone altar in a lacy white dress.

A few thoughtful words, and the downward thrust of a knife
Cassandra felt her blood spill out
as she slowly lost her life....

Beautiful on the skin, lovely from within
Purity signed her fate, virginity, her death warranted sin..

[rowens]

A transparent white veil draped across her face,
Walking down the isle,

isle or aisle?

Side by side with a dark suited man,
Arms interlocked, tight embrace.

The haunting growl of organs echoing through the halls,
Biblical imagery and stain glass windows adorn the opec, limestone walls.

I don't know much about opec. The generic "Biblical imagery" is a nice touch.



Slowly approaching the alter, her pulse begins to quicken,

alter? altar? or a pun?


Nerves setting in, her stomach turns, and rapidly begins to sicken.

Sensing young woman's angst,

Why is she just "young woman" with no the or anything else? Is that part of the tone?



the man beside her attempts to put her mind at ease.
Leans in and Whispers,

Big W?

"Don't worry my dear it will be over soon... Remember, this is Gods decree"

God's. The kind-of rhyme, ease/decree, seems fitting here.



The reassurance and soft spoken words put her in a peaceful place.
As did the sight of the priest, and the welcoming smile on his face.

When she approached the alter the priest stood and said

altar, again?


"do not fret my little lamb, for you are completely free of sin"

Then he glanced up and shouted
"be seated my children, the ceremony is about to begin"


I don't know about that rhyme. Is it the same man that spoke earlier? The man beside her, the priest? Maybe the rhyme is characteristic, of the priest, or the official-sounding men.

*************************************
So Elegant in life,
So Graceful in death.
She lay across a stone alter in a lacy white dress.

altar

A few thoughtful words, and the downward thrust of a knife
Cassandra felt her blood spill out
as she slowly lost her life....

Beautiful on the skin, lovely from within
Purity signed her fate, virginity, her death warranted sin..


This second part doesn't have much to it.

[Erthona]

rowens' already pointed out the obvious errors. I have nothing to add to that, except there is no continuity in the line length, and the rhyme jumps around, although mostly couplets.
In terms of content, sorry, I don't get this, I mean I understand the words (except for Opec- Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries), but this is just a variation on a theme that has been done hundreds of times before. Maybe it's suppose to be a metaphor for something, but there is not a clue of what that might be, at least not that I can see.

Best,

Dale

[Ryan_w_r]

Thanks Rowen.. I'll go though and correct all the errors