So Kind

[Erthona]

.

I can’t say she was being unkind,
when she separated out, what was hers
and what was mine.
Justice is the best one can hope for
—no room for mercy—
when what was loved, is now abhorred.

[ChristopherSea]

.

I can’t say she was being unkind,
when she separated out, what was hers
and what was mine.
Justice is the best one can hope for
—no room for mercy—
when what was loved, is now abhorred.

This is what divorce does Dale. The water and oil phase separation is a good metaphor. Hey, do you think making the line break after 'out' would illuninate that more?

This hits home for me on several levels. I initially looked at the end of my first marriage like growing up and moving out of your parent's home. You don't stop loving your parents, you just can't live with them anymore. I did not stop loving my ex, until she showed nothing but hatred. However, I have never denied our love nor abhorred her even six years later.

You say a lot in a few breaths here./Chris

[Erthona]

Chris,

" Hey, do you think making the line break after 'out' would illuminate that more? "

Maybe, I've had it both ways, this just happened to be the way it was when I posted it. Tomorrow might have been different. I think I left it this was because I wanted the caesura between "what was hers"....."and what was mine". Like weighing two items in your hands, trying to figure which is heaviest. I think that's what I was doing

(Actually my main concern was if this was too long to post here)


Thanks for the comments,

Dale

[ChristopherSea]

Chris,

" Hey, do you think making the line break after 'out' would illuminate that more? "

Maybe, I've had it both ways, this just happened to be the way it was when I posted it. Tomorrow might have been different. I think I left it this was because I wanted the caesura between "what was hers"....."and what was mine". Like weighing two items in your hands, trying to figure which is heaviest. I think that's what I was doing

(Actually my main concern was if this was too long to post here)


Thanks for the comments,

Dale

No, it's not too long. Yes, the hers/his break is needed, but you could do that too:

when she separated out,
what was hers

and what was mine.

you know...

[Erthona]

Yes, unfortunately I know more bad ways than good ways to do it.

when she separated out,
what was hers—and what was mine.

when she separated out,
what was hers (and what was mine).

ad nauseam

[ChristopherSea]

Yes, unfortunately I know more bad ways than good ways to do it.

when she separated out,
what was hers—and what was mine.

when she separated out,
what was hers (and what was mine).

ad nauseam

Yes, sorry for turning your stomach.

[Erthona]

Be a nice lad and send me some Phenergan


Dale